first, let me say that i have been anxious for the last year over several different things in my life--one-where we will be moving this summer, and two-trying to have a baby. we found out a few months ago that we will be moving to georgia. as i posted earlier, we were not expecting georgia. and i can even recall when we were helping someone get ready to move there, thinking "man, that would be a crappy assignment", and guess what.......
i was trying very hard to be excited about our move-we would be back in the south, close to our family, around all the great food we have missed so much, not to mention sweet tea. but still, deep down, i was disappointed. i couldn't help feeling bummed.
at the same time, i was feeling anxious about having a baby. we had been trying for a year and a half and had been unsuccessful. it was starting to feel hopeless. i had been seeing different dr.'s and just couldn't understand why it wasn't happening. all of my friends were starting to get pregnant, and most of them after only trying for a month or two! it didn't seem fair. i prayed about it, and i tried to reconcile myself to the fact that some people just can't have kids, and that maybe we could adopt, or foster. but deep in my heart, i felt sad and was, again, disappointed.
in both situations, i was trying too hard to understand why, rather than just letting God have the reins willingly, and trusting that He has a plan. i wanted things done my way, in my timing. and clearly, they weren't happening that way.
then, really when we least expected it we found out we were pregnant! suddenly, it all made sense. now, instead of being overseas with a new baby, we would be right in the middle of all of our family.
"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ"-phillipians 4:67
like i said before-i was anxious.....clearly not listening. and obviously (now) God's plans and peace transcend my feeble mind. i am very clearly humbled. =)
