this is the morning where i step onto the back porch, hair a mop on top of my head, coffee cup in hand, wrapped in a terry cloth robe and bunny slippers, and scream at the top of my lungs, "SHUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTT UUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!".
only, i don't have the energy.
the neighbors dog has been barking incessantly since about 2 am. the baby slept all night long and didn't make a peep until 7am, but 7am came way too early considering i was up all night listening to yelps and barks.
all night, as each hour slowly ticks by, i think of my plan of action. i don't have to put up with this! i will call animal control. no. no that's not very neighborly. then again, neither is leaving your dog out all night to keep up the neighbors. i know what to do! i'll go knock on their door, explain to them that i have a baby and need my sleep. wait. it's 2am. they're probably sleeping. that's rude. wait. it's 2am and i'm NOT sleeping............bb gun???? but i don't want to hurt the dog. i just want it to be quiet.
i visit the scream at the top of my lungs idea. well that would just be lovely, no? i remember when we moved into the house i lived in through high school, the neighbors came over to introduce themselves, saying, "thank goodness the old neighbors moved. she would always come outside and scream at her kids to come inside, or scream at the dogs. i think she was kind of crazy." so there's that rolling around in the back of my mind. i certainly don't want to be the crazy lady on the block. but then again, if i don't get some sleep soon, i will be the crazy lady on the block.
as i sit here, the dog is still barking. don't dogs ever lose their voices? or like get sore throats? surely, he must be getting thirsty from all that barking.
i feel my eyes twitching. and my hands are shaking. oh how quickly one forgets the all nighters of a newborn.
now, off to wrap some vicodin in a ham hock. maybe that will keep him quiet............
