thanksful on a thursday

i've realized that i am incapable of typing "thank" without an s at the end. so thank you becomes thanks you and thankful turns out like thanksful. and it's all just a little awkward.

so, without further ado.......

i am thanksful, on a thursday, for

1. being blessed with friends who are strong and giving of their time and resources. with the help of my friend and her sons, we have been able to move (almost) my entire apartment in one day.

2. family members who love me and make long trips to see me, just to watch my baby all day so i can move. with the help of aforementioned friends.

3. peppermint swiss cake rolls. seriously, how could the maker of my favorite childhood frozen treat know me any better!? what, you didn't freeze your swiss cake rolls?

4. when the things i forgot to pack at my almost empty apartment (that i am spending the night in), just happen to be the very things i need at 9pm, when my baby is fast asleep.

5. my husband being in the military in the 21st century. so that when he is a world away, i still get to talk to him every day. i can't imagine what it was like to only be able to correspond through letters.

6. abc.com since both of our tv's are already in the new house. where there is no power.

7. belly laughs. about bodily functions. and calling people bad names on accident. yeah, guess you had to be there.

8. that my baby is soundly sleeping, in her pack 'n play, no less.

9. the pumpkin spice latte that jump started my morning today. does my world revolve around food? yes. don't judge.

10. this queen sized, double stacked air mattress that self inflates, that i am laying on right now. because without it, i would be on the floor.

good night!

a note to brand new mommas......

it will get easier. 

then it will get hard again. 

it will be something different. when babies are teeny, it's hard because it's new. sitting here, while my 10 month old is sound asleep, i can remember, when she was small, sleeping on the couch for close to 2 months. i just couldn't quite figure out how i could sleep in my bed. my baby WOULD. NOT. SLEEP. in anything except her swing. and only for an hour or two at a time, if that. my boobies hurt. my back hurt. my head hurt. other places hurt. and in ways i never imagined. and my heart hurt. which i didn't expect. 

those first few weeks were so hard emotionally. i wanted to just sit and hold my little child, but i also wanted to hold my husband. and snuggle with him in the morning. and i wanted to snuggle with my pup, who, up until then, had been our baby. i wanted to spend every moment looking at bella. because it was amazing that she even existed. but the more time i spent with her, the less time i had to spend with joel. when bella was about 4 weeks old, i cried for the first time. i was so sorry that i wasn't being a good wife. a good friend. but it was a new dimension to our relationship and i didn't know how to function.

things have settled tremendously now. i feel normal again. things aren't easy. but they feel right. 

some days, i long for those early moments again. when i would be wide awake at 2 in the morning, feeling like i was the only one in the world who was awake. then waking again at 6, and watching the sun rise as i nursed my newborn. it was so peaceful and beautiful. 

every day was an adventure. every thing was new and exciting. now, things are routine and comfortable. we have fallen into a routine of stumble out of bed, play all morning, nap (sometimes both of us) and then around 12, my day actually starts. some most days i get overwhelmed. i throw my keys away, i leave cars unlocked (which leads to things being stolen from us), i lose things, i break things, and most days i feel like a bit of a failure. then bella walks over to me, puts her head in my lap and makes kissy mouths at me. and i feel like super mom. 

it's all pretty fantastic. and i don't know why i am so blessed. 

10 months

a year ago, i sat in the lab, getting an ultrasound. when i saw the picture, i thought.....

o....
em......
geeeeee.....

my baby is the joker.

everything was kind of blurry, but her mouth was VERY pronounced. and very joker-esque. it may have been the hormones, but i started crying. my mom was with me and i turned to her and said, "i don't want my baby to be ugly!"

yes, i know. how terrible. how vain. but the fuzzy glimpse i just got of my child was not a pretty sight. all i could imagine was this petite little face with a great big joker mouth.

scary, no? picture it on a teeny little baby and you can see why i was crying.

bella is 10 months today, and not once in her little life have i thought for a minute that she wasn't the most beautiful baby ever. of course, if she was, i would never know. because she is my baby.

she does have a big smiley mouth. and she is constantly showing it off. she smiles all the time, big and mouthy. 

so she is 10 months. she is a proficient walker, and has even started running (aka waddling quickly). she says mama, dada, "doo" and "yoya" which i SWEAR is duke and lola. maybe not, but it sounds like it. she pushes things with her head and when they won't get out of her way she screams and tries again. 

she has 7 teeth. she chews on EVERYTHING. she has been eating a lot more stuff lately.

and recently, she has decided that sleep is for losers. and since she is no loser, she has quit sleeping. which means.....i have quit sleeping. 

this past week has been harder than when she was a newborn. but for some reason, i still feel like this has been my favorite age. maybe it's because she has more personality. she is like a little person, toddling around after me, talking to me with conviction, like what she is saying is important. yesterday, at target, she "read" to me all throughout the store. she is becoming a small person, instead of a baby. she is insanely expressive. 

it's exhausting. but it's so fun. and in 2 short months, she will be one. year. old.

where has the time gone?

right? 

i am le tired

i haven't been around much lately. probably because bella has adopted a new wake up time of 5am. and that is becoming increasingly earlier, each day. this morning, she was up at 4. while i appreciate her desire to spend more time with her mommy, i could really use more than a few hours of sleep.

sure, part of the problem is that i'm not going to sleep until midnight. but really, i blame joel for that. i never can sleep when he is travelling.

so instead of blogging (or cleaning, or packing, or organizing, or eating) while she takes her naps, i sleep. and then wake up groggy, and let her nurse while i catch a few more minutes. and then let her play in her room, while i lay on the floor, half awake.

i feel like she is a newborn again, only worse, because while i am laying there on the ground she is walking on me, screaming and pulling my hair.

i HAVE stuff to say. but i am too tired to get on the computer to say what i want. so i slowly start feeling like i'm mildly schizophrenic, listening to the rambling "mom"ologue in my head.

even more, i don't have time to READ my favorite blogs. unless i get them in e-mail, because then i can read them laying in bed, with one eye open, off of my phone, when i am trying to fall back asleep after futilely convincing my almost 10 month old that playing in her room at 4am is NOT appropriate.

even after all of that complaining, i look at her, waddling around the living room, "tra-la-la"ing with her little sing songy voice, and i can't help but be overwhelmed by how blessed i am.

either she is that adorable, or i am slowly losing my mind.

bella wants to be a model

i am not above pimping out my blog to get my baby votes. not. one. bit.

i need your help. bella has been entered into a baby modelling contest at a boutique in town. PLEASE help her win by voting for her!

How to Vote

First, you need to “Like” the Facebook fan pages of Butterfly Kisses, Lindley’s Photography and Alicia McDonald Photography.

Then, beginning October 7^th, click on the “Photos” tab on each fan page to find the Butterfly Kisses Model Search gallery. Find the photo you want to vote for, and click the “Like” button under that picture. That’s it!

You can vote THREE TIMES for each picture – once on the Butterfly Kisses fan page, once on Lindley’s Photography fan page, and once on Alicia McDonald Photography’s fan page.

(bella is #42 in each album, or you can click the links above to go directly to her picture!)

The photos with the most “Likes” (combined total of all three fan pages) by the end of the contest will be our finalists!

that's it! now go vote people!! bvella wants to be a model so bad she is throwing a fit! 

seriously......i gotta go. 

communication is key

bella made her first sign tonight at dinner. sure, it was for cinnamon butter that joel slipped her when i wasn't looking. but she signed, all the same. she put her two little hands together making the sign for more.

the i gave her a mushroom, and she made the sign again. then she did it for broccoli. and a mum mum. it was all pretty exciting.

we have been working with her for about a month so far. at each meal, about half way through, i ask if she wants more, and do the accompanying sign, then give her more.

we've also been signing "milk", "done", "up", "down" and "please", though "more" has been the one we focused on the most.

i have to be honest. i thought i was wasting my time. i've read about all the benefits of signing, about how it helps curb tantrums by giving them a way to communicate before they can talk. i saw her recognizing the signs when i would do them, but would she really do them? i just couldn't see it. even when she learned "high five" in a matter of about 10 minutes. but that was fun and got an immediate reaction, on OVER reaction, of me jumping up and down and hooting and yelling, "YYAAAAAYYYY!!!!" in a silly high pitched voice. signing, well, the only reward so far has been food........

oh, how she takes after her mother............
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want to sign with your baby? here is a great reference to get started!

camping

my kid likes dirt. 

and leaves.

and being outside. 

my baby likes camping, and being outdoors, and campfires, and dogs. big, stinky, dogs. 

we took her on her THIRD camping trip last weekend and she LOVED it. she is pretty freaking awesome. 

{sitting with daddy, by the campfire. joel didn't get the memo, apparently, that it was cold out.} 

{let me walk daddy! i need to get that dirt!}

{camping is hard work}

i don't even know who this kid IS anymore........