different as night and day

you always hear that second children are the exact opposite of your first.

we are only a few days into this, but i have a feeling that "they" are right.

bella came into this word with fists of fury. she was a spit fire from conception-constantly kicking and moving around in utero. i had a short 12 hour labor, after being induced, and she had no reservations complaining about the way things were going. she was demanding, impatient and what my mother likes the call "high needs". she had her own time table and we were all going to abide by it, or suffer her wrath.

she was a sweet baby, she just knew her mind and wouldn't stand for people not getting behind her.

not much has changed today. my girl is about to turn 3 and doesn't let me think for a moment that i am in charge.

cora, on the other hand, is a laid back girl. pretty much. she didn't want to come out, obviously-i was 5 days overdue and she only came out then because she was forced. she came out with a little whimper and a few grunts, while she settled down to sleep on my chest. and for the next 5 days, she slept. then woke up to eat, letting me know by grunting a bit.

there are times where i'm sure i am doing something wrong because it's too quiet and the only noise i hear is bella stomping around or yelling, "i wanna schnack!!"

i definitely feel like we got a crash course with bella. and i could be jinxing this whole thing. it's only been a week. and dare i say, it's been a little too easy......

plus also, this......

delirious

delirious about sums up the last 24 hours.

right up until about 10 pm last night, i was pretty comfortable, having normal contractions, but making little progress. around 11, i was hooked up to the CTG (fetal heart monitor/contraction reader thingy) for 30 minutes, when things started to get a little....intense.

i had a series of contractions that wouldn't quit coming-as in, never stopped. as in, ow.

i was sure she was coming. it had been 12 hours. it was some serious pain. quick contractions.

i was checked.

no progress.

i started to cry.

i could not have been more frustrated. no progress in 12 hours was quite possibly the worst thing i could hear. that means all this pain for nothing.

so at midnight, they gave me several pills-1 to ease the pain, 1 to stop the "annoying" contractions, as the midwife called it, and one to allow the good contractions. sounds like my kind of cocktail.

i walked up to my room and went to sleep. at 2 i started waking up every few minutes with painful contractions. in between each one, i would fall deep asleep, and 2 minutes later i would wake up and have to jump out of bed.

around 4, i figured it all had to mean something, so i put on my fuzzy slippers and made my way downstairs, stopping every 10 feet or so, and biting my lip so i didn't scream.

again, i was hooked to the machine. again i was checked. and again, nothing.

so i limped back upstairs, crying the whole way, more out of frustration than anything.

i spent the next hour sitting in the hot shower. around 5 i tried to get back in bed, and rest.

finally, at 7:30, the doctor came up, right in the middle of a series of contractions, said it seemed we were progressing and brought up a midwife to take me down stairs. in the 5 minutes it took to get down, i probably had 3 contractions.

one more time, she checked me. and one more time, no progress. (by no progress, i mean we are still at 2 cm. where i was when i came in, at 8:30 the morning before).

i figured it was going to be a long day full of pain. i asked for the epidural. she said i needed to progress first.

at this point, i have to say, when i was induced with bella, i made it to almost 5 or 6 cm with no pain at all, got my epidural and relaxed until she came, when i simply pushed her out. i mean it was literally that easy. and blissful. and calm.

around 8:30, it got real bad-i was in a delivery room, hooked up to the monitor and could see the contractions. they were so painful that i couldn't see straight. but i could see the number going up higher and higher, coordinating with the pain. just when i thought i might pass out, my water broke.

here's where things get crazy. right before 8:30, i was at a 2.

cora arrived at 9:30, after 2 pushes.

i can not make this up.

needless to say, my throat feels like someone punched me in it from all the screaming.

i didn't get an ounce of pain meds, and it came so fast i didn't even have time to breathe much, let alone call joel back from the house where he was picking up bella. so he arrived at 9:50, just in time to meet his new girl.

bella is VERY excited. she keeps telling us, "thank you for my new baby sister!!!" while she jumps up and down, and demands that we put her in the bassinet so she can see her. she can't stop touching her and get's this crazy look on her face, like she just got the best gift in the whole world.

it's pretty much awesome.

cora weighed in around 8 1/2 lbs, 22 inches. ji don't have exact numbers because they were "loosely converted" from kg and cm. i will have to do some actual conversions later.

today could be the day

i am so hoping today is the day.

i am sitting in the hospital right now, just waiting. i was induced this morning around 10:30. it's now almost 7:30 pm. so far, i have had increasingly regular and strong contractions, but that's about it.

being induced is different here. i was induced with bella back in the states and was given an iv line with a pitocin drip. i got it at 7:30am and by 7:30pm, i had a pink little bundle of baby awesomeness.

this morning i was given a tiny little pill that is supposed to induce contractions. i can get one every 4 hours until there is progress. and between there, i just kind of hang out.

it's really not a bad gig. this hospital is very much more like a hotel than anything else. i am sitting in a room with a fantastic view of the city (well, once you look past the cranes and construction equipment....but it's really very pretty), there are no wires constricting me, i am free to roam around and eat and drink whatever i want. there is a restaurant and a cafe on site, and lots of gardens (although it is raining outside, so i haven't gone out). i even got a plush robe on my bed! and no gown to wander around in all day-i am in my comfy clothes.

the delivery ward is full of midwives. that's who will deliver the baby. there is a doctor here just in case, but the midwives pretty much do it all.

after my 2:30 dose, i came back up and went to sleep. i have to admit, it's almost like a mini vacation, minus the contractions, which haven't been bad yet.

in about 15 minutes, i go back down to be checked, so i am hoping by then they will tell me that it's going well. i may also get a 3rd dose at that time.

joel is betting that we will have a baby around 11pm. that would be an alright time table for me! considering bella came in 12 hours after being induced, i am hoping that's about right.

on a less "relaxing spa vacation" note: dinner tonight was an odwalla bar and some beef jerky. someone warned me to bring snacks, and i am so glad they did. when the lady brought dinner in tonight, it was a piece of bologna that looks like a fruit cake, 2 pieces of swiss cheese, and some kind of vienna sausage looking thing in a nasty casing. i am pretty adventurous when it comes to food, i think, but that just isn't going to cut it. and i am not a fan of processed meats, anyway. i'm not sure how people survive on that after having a baby, and i am really glad we only live 5 minutes from the hospital. there isn't really "fast food" around here, except for a mcdonalds. and my experience with german mcdonalds is generally.....don't. well, my experience with american mcdonalds is generally don't as well. but if this is what my meals look like, i may be mc-ing it up for a few meals.

so here's hoping the next update is a picture of my girl! wish me luck!

DIY subway art

yesterday was my 40 week appointment. this is not a post about how it turned into a smooth and easy delivery. no one is more sorry about that than i am.

no progress is the official report. not a bit. apparently, i have such an inviting womb, that my children do not want to vacate. that, or little cora has heard the madness around here lately and is smarter than all of us. 

either way, i am a grumpy goose around these parts. and apparently prone to unreasonable outbursts of tears. this morning, bella knocked over my water and i broke down crying. that could be the frustration of telling her 15 times to watch where she is going after i pick up in her wake of destruction, or it could be that i might have gotten 2 hours of sleep last night, between her sleep-screaming and my up-and-down all night to pee. she is battling a nasty cough, so this is not a new phase we are entering. at least, i hope not. 

warnings have been issued to anyone who could get caught in my line of fire, and this is now a "say something stupid at your own risk" zone.

apparently, america and my facebook feed did NOT get my memo. 

anyway, since this baby is not coming out any time soon, it seems, i decided it's time to do some more art work. i have several empty frames hanging up in girlfriends room and that just won't do. 

i knew one of them was going to contain some subway art with her birth stats in it, and i was going to make it. i don't know how to make subway art. and while i am not the most computer savvy, i am pretty good at figuring things out. so i set out to work some magic in picmonkey. i knew it could be done, so i tried. and i tried. and i tried. 

then i gave up and did a search. "diy subway art tutorial". 

i found a lot of tutes for picnik, which is annoying since they closed down back in april. and right when i was about to give up, i stumbled across one for picmonkey! thank you persistence. 

here is the tutorial. it's a little lengthy, as in, there is a lot of information you can skip over if you aren't 4. but i'm not rewriting it. i had some idea of what i wanted, so i made bella her lunch, duck taped her to the floor sat her down at the table, and got to work. 

here is the finished product: 

seeing as how she isn't actually here yet, i borrowed some "birth information" from bella, and made up the date (although, that is a perfectly good date to come, little miss). i'm pretty happy with it. 

now, i am going to sit in the corner and eat some pigs in a blanket while i rock back and forth. yep. it's getting bad over here. 

false alarrm

last night, i was sure i was having this girl.

let's start from the beginning. on thursday, i started having some pretty painful contractions. they were irregular, occurring anywhere between 18-25 minutes. they were uncomfortable and a little painful. friday brought closer contractions, but still erratic.

saturday morning, we woke up bright and early-bella got us up at 5:30 am. so around 10 we decided we would not waste the day and we took a trip on the train downtown to do a little wandering in the shopping area at the hauptbahnhoff  (main train station) with a friend of ours. we spent nearly 6 hours walking around.

on a side note, i had a really yummy brat and some starbucks! good times.

we hopped back on the train and when we reached our stop, we got off and started walking home. only, the 3 blocks it took to get home took us a lot longer than expected.

i kept having to stop because my contractions were coming fast. about every 8 minutes. and they were pretty potent.

by around 7, they had gotten more intense and were 5 minutes apart. i started writing them down around 9 and at 11, we made the decision that it was time and headed in.

we dropped bella off at her friends house ( another side note-i opened her suitcase and put in on her bed to put in some clothes, left the room for a minute, and when i came back, she had packed all her trains, cars and pieces to her cake set, and was singing, "i'm going to dominic's, i feel so happy!"), and headed to the hospital, a good 5 minute drive. on the way, i had 2 contractions.

long story short, i got in and was checked out.

 and had made absolutely no progress.

i wanted to cry.

i was so sure this was it. it wasn't so much that i was sad i wasn't in labor. it was more the foolish feeling of not really knowing what's going on in my body.

i am assuming that all the walking around put me into false labor-i had real contractions and real pain but no real progress. it's like the perfect storm of disappointment.

so here i am, no closer to having had this kid, and have spent the morning being abused by an over tired toddler.

someone hold me.