i swear, she NEVER does this.

this has become my new mommy mantra.

bell: wwwWWWWAWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

::old ladies stare, shaking their heads knowingly, men of all ages scoff and walk quickly away::

me: "i swear, she is never like this!" (knowing full well that whenever she is hungry/tired/dirty/bored/looked at strangely, she is, indeed, like this.)

i don't know why i feel the need to justify my crying baby. i mean, that's what they do. they cry. but for some reason whenever we are in public and she starts to wail, i start to get all sweaty and red faced. because i can hear it in my head: "i wish she'd get that baby to shut up", "why did she bring a baby out of the house, anyway", "if i wanted to hear a screaming baby, i would have one". i feel the eyes all around the room, staring holes into my head, urging me to "get that kid out of here".

but then, she stops. i feed her/change her/get her to sleep and when she wakes up again, she is the most precious, happy, snuggly little thing you have ever seen.

then the old ladies come up to us and tell me how she looks like the gerber baby, and how lucky i am to have such a perfect little one. and then bella flashes her million dollar smile and my heart melts, and i forget about the sweat on the back of my neck and behind my knees. that girl has me wrapped around her littlest finger. the one i like to pretend to munch on, because it makes her giggle.