i want to be a better liver. or maybe a pancreas.

i'm a little late the game on the obligatory "new year, new you" post. mostly because i don't make resolutions.

i think they are the biggest highlighter of failure, and i don't need that. instead, i like to reflect on things that i've accomplished, and see where i've come from, so i know where i'm going.

this year was a HUGE year. in my 26 1/2 years, this one ranks up there as one of the biggest, coming in a close second probably to 2005 (got married and moved to hawaii) and right in front of 1984 (i was born. it was a big deal.).

things i accomplished this year, in no particular order:

365 days of:
-breastfeeding. THAT is a serious accomplishment if you have ever tried it. my child better be grateful in 15 years when she is not obese and has a healthy immune system.
-cloth diapering. with the exception of about 2 weeks of dealing with a wicked rash, we have had bella's bum covered in fleece for an entire year.
-less than 5 hours of sleep per night. that's right, for an entire year, my child has not slept through the night, which means, neither have i. before you start giving me advice? she started on december 31st. her resolution must be to be a better sleeper. or to not hate her mommy so much.
-being a mother. most important thing i have ever done with my life. ever.

other things we have accomplished this year:
-i moved us from our apartment to a house while my husband was deployed. i'm pretty proud of myself for doing that. because that was a big undertaking. i had help from my friend and her 2 teenage sons, but that was it-2 women, 2 teenagers, an 8 year old and a baby. that should have been a reality show.
-we survived 2 deployments-one to haiti, for relief and one to jordan. bella was 6 weeks old when joel went to haiti, and 10 months when he went to jordan.
-lots of travelling-bella and i have made several road trips on our own, most of which were 6 hours long. we also traveled a lot with daddy.

bella has had a big year too! this was her first year of life. some of her milestones:
-6 weeks-made her first long road trip and saw snow for the first time.
-11 weeks-first trip to disney world!
-4 months-sat up on her own
-5 1/2 months-started crawling on her hands and knees
-9 months 3 days-took her first unassisted steps
-13 december-celebrated her first birthday

we've done a lot this year, and i am not the same person i was one year ago. i remember her. i liked her. she was nice. but she had no idea what lie ahead. i am stronger now. more in check. more sympathetic. more patient. i am willing to let things go that aren't important. and i know how to put my foot down when something is important. i am healthier, though not entirely healthy (i still have a good 20 pounds to lose). and believe it or not, i am more rested than i was a year ago. but only slightly.

i don't know what this new year holds. i have a lot i want to do, but mostly, i want to be happier and healthier. i want to be a better wife, a better mother and a better friend. i could say i want to be a more consistent blogger, but the truth is? when i'm not blogging? i am living. and not thinking about how my life looks in writing. so, i want to be a better liver of life. and hopefully i can be better at recording it.

happy new year.