my dog is nasty. and this is not about valentines day

dear lola,

you? are disgusting.

you may be the nastiest dog i have ever known. those tasty morsels you are sneaking out of that giant bucket in the laundry room? are. not. chocolate.

you are eating poop.

i have heard of dogs eating other dogs poop. some instinctual thing about being dominant, blah, blah, blah. whatever. you are not covering tracks here. you are just eating poop.

i admit, i feed the kid some pretty awesome stuff. but i am pretty sure that everything remotely yummy about what she eats, is sucked out of that food before it gets to your mouth.

don't tell me that it's an accident. you have to work too hard to get them out of the pail for it to be an accident. and, personally? when i accidentally eat something disgusting? i usually try not to repeat it. ev. er.

the next time you mosey up to me with your butt breath? prepare to be shunned. because momma don't kiss poop eaters.

love, mommy.

-------------------------------

dear mommy,

i ate poop.

and i liked iiiiit.

love, lola.