mama kat's writers workshop: my husband makes me proud.

one of mama kat's writing prompts this week is "husbands. a post that will hopefully not get you in trouble"

i like to complain about my husband. mostly because, well....he is just so darn....husband-like. you know the type-clueless. forgetful. so much like a 16 year old boy that you sometimes forget you are not his mother? 

i was going to tap out this lovely little ditty about how he woke up at 6am to go turn on the blender, subsequently waking me AND the tiny terrorist that resides on the other side of the house. or maybe i would recycle this gem from when he was forgetful (one of the MANY times). 

but as i was drafting what i would say, i changed my mind. so, here is what i think about my husband. 

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joel,

there are plenty of husbands who are the bread winners for their families. they wake early, come home late, working hard all day to provide a life for their families, allowing their wives to stay home with their children. that doesn't make you unique. 

what makes you special, what makes me proud, is not that you do, it's what you do. 

you are a smart man. when we were in college, i have this distinct memory of you never studying. we would walk to class, then meet up a few hours later after classes were over, and go eat, or go hang out with friends, go to a movie, go to a club meeting or a coffee shop. a park, or the pool. but never once do i remember you cracking a book. i would come upstairs to hang out and you would be playing video games or tinkering with some electronic thing. or goofing off with some of the guys on the floor. but not studying. 

when you told me that if you didn't pass our ballroom dance class, you wouldn't graduate, i assumed it was because your other classes were lacking, and that, indeed, this class would be a make or break class for you. it made sense, since you never studied. but then when grades came in and you graduated with a 3.85 CUMULATIVE, i thought maybe there was an error on your transcript. or maybe you misrepresented yourself.

you graduated in four years, which seems, in this day, an oddity. you scored a 98 on your asvab. you have a degree in computer science, and a masters in IT management. it seems that you could do whatever you choose with your life, and you would be wildly successful in whatever arena you choose. 

but that's not why i married you. 

while many people your age were "finding themselves" and enjoying their college years to the fullest extent, you made a commitment to serve your country. you could have joined a fraternity or done internships for some big money making company. but you chose a route that would undoubtedly be less lucrative, but would challenge you and force you to put service before self. on. the. daily. 

while many college students were sleeping off a hangover, you were up before the sun, working out and keeping yourself "fit to fight". 

while most people floundered through the first semesters of school, failing a couple of classes, switching majors 4 times (ahem....not me. someone else i know......), trying to figure out what they want to do, you decided a major, stuck with it, and excelled at it. 

you work hard. just like millions of other people. but in your off time, you go deliver meals with meals on wheels. you volunteer your time helping kids. you volunteer at animal shelters (all with your lovely wife, of course). you could rest on your laurels, knowing you're off the clock. but even in your off time, you want to help other people. 

you sacrifice birthdays. anniversaries. family vacations. eventually, maybe births of children. all for people you have never met, some of whom don't agree with what you do, so they can speak out (sometimes against you), so they can protest (sometimes at your fallen comrades funerals), so they can be free (sometimes as they attempt to take the freedoms of others). you leave your family behind, so that theirs are safe. and you chose to do this, knowing that you would face opposition. 

this is why i married you (one of the many reasons). this is what makes me so proud of you. there are others who do less, who are compensated more. but there is a sense of pride that you carry with you. 

i am proud to be your wife. i am proud of the life we have built. and i am proud of the father you are and will be. 

i love you.