Sunday, August 22, 2010

letter to my husband.

dear joel.

i love being your wife. i really do. we have fun, we have adventures, we work well together. we fit. i love you, you love me.

now. that said, we need to talk.

your ABU pants have about 30 pockets in them. your blouse? somewhere in the ballpark of 15. i try to get everything out of them, your wallet, your keys, your phone, all the loose change, your papers that have been meticulously folded in the shape of little footballs, the 2 pens in your back pocket, the pen in your front pocket, the pencil and sharpie in your right breast pocket. i thought i got it all. but i missed that little mini pen in your LEFT breast pocket. curse that blouse, with it's special pen holder. i mean, heaven forbid you put all your pens in the same pocket.

because now, i have ink all over my favorite shirt. all over my big plushy beach towel built for 2. all over my unmentionables. all. over. my . DRYER. so when i threw the NEXT load of laundry in the dryer, they got all inky too. and what was that load full of? diapers. that's right my sweet husband. those fluffy little poop catchers that go on your baby's booty.

i'm not saying it's your fault. no. not at all. i just need a little heads up if you want to play scavenger hunt with your writing utensils. maybe just a number. "honey, there will be 10 pens in my pockets today, and one will be in a super secret place!" just a couple of clues, or maybe some hints worked into the other pens.

or even better, we don't HAVE to play games. you could just empty all of your pockets before you plop your pants into the hamper. i really wouldn't mind sitting the next game out.

i love games. i do. but let's table this one, for now. maybe revisit it.......well.....i don't ever want to play it again, if you don't mind. my clothes will thanks you.



Carey said...

You are SO NOT ALONE! I cannot tell you how many times this has happened to us in seven years of marriage. The only thing that keeps me from major freak out on Billy when it happens is the memory of a similar event in my teen years.... no not a pen, a bottle of RED (oh yes, candy apple variety) nail polish in a load of my dad's jeans that came from my little jeans pocket. I narrowly escaped death that day, LOL.

Justine said...

bahahahaha! oh man. that would be frustrating. the thing that kills me the most is when i say something, he says, "you don't check to pockets before you put them in the wash?" uh......duh. most of them!!

angela said...

I washed my husband's cell phone one time. It was in some weird, little pocket in a pair of cargo pants that he was wearing to work outside. Like he was even going to answer the phone while working on the roof or whatever he was doing!

MrsStockham said...

Yep, Josh and I had a discussion that went the EXACT. SAME. WAY....wording and everything. That was AFTER our cell phone took a field trip through the wash and then...the dryer. >< I'm not a fan of playing mommy with my husband's belongings and clothing. Feel your pain, know the frustration and it hasn't happened since we had our little "chat" either. that I read yours and see how lightly I got off as well...sorry all that stuff got ruined. For us it was just a favorite shirts or towels...or diapers. =)

Sarah, The Ohana Mama said...

Oh no!!

Hubby leaves stuff in his pockets too - thankfully he also leaves money - which goes directly into MY purse as payment for washing his clothes and taking out all the little bits left in his pockets. ;)

Hope you can get the ink out of those diapers! (and where did you get the towel for two? I want one,lol!)

The Ohana mama

Kristy said...

We had laundry problems about 13 years ago. Ever since I have never done his laundry ever again. We do our own. There has never been another problem.

Michelle @ Flying Giggles said...

Your husband too?

I really like Kristy's solution!

BTW, I transferred my blog over to it's new site, I am not sure if you were following with GFC, but my feed is not updating. I have directions on my last post how to fix it, if you are interested!

Justine said...

@sarah, before we moved back to the mainland, we wandered into the sears in ala moana and found it there (half off!!) =) we also got 2 as wedding presents, but one flew off the balcony of our hotel the first week we were on island....

@kristy-that sounds like a good idea.....hmmmmmm

R said...

(first time reader here) um - WOW. can I copy and paste that to my husband? he's FOREVER leaving pens, notepads, his brass in/on his uniform - makes me want to add gum or something to his laundry and pretend it wasn't me ;) oops! did I actually type that? thanks for the chuckles!

a sailor's sweetie said...

Hi there! I found this post through Sammie @ Our Military Adventure. =)

I have to say, I had a smile on my face the entire time I was reading this. It was hilarious.

Fortunately, we've only had this happen to us once SO FAR. ;)

I thought I had taken everything out of husband's NWUs, missed a pen hiding SOMEWHERE. Now there's all kinds of pretty patterns on the inside of the dryer. At least I washed his uniforms separately that time so *I* wouldn't ruin them somehow. And at least they're dark patterns.