breastfeeding: 3 truths and one lie

i nursed bella for over a year. i am proud of myself. and i am proud of bella. but i learned a lot during that time. like, people don't really talk much about it except to cram it down your throat say that it is best and formula is "poison" (not my words). i am a breastfeeding advocate. i think, if you are able to, everyone should at least try. but i recognize not everyone has the option. if my situation was different, i can't say that i would have proceeded to nurse for an entire year.

many people spout rhetoric about how breast feeding is "natural" and that there is nothing better, but here's what they don't tell you....

truth #1- breastfeeding is hard. at first. it takes a finesse that is not in any way, shape, or form natural, to get a baby to latch right each time. yes, breastfeeding itself is a natural process, simply meaning there is nothing synthetic about it. but the art of breastfeeding, the actual physical act, does not come naturally. it can be overwhelmingly frustrating. in the early days, i would cry just thinking about the next feeding, and how hard it was going to be.

truth #2- breastfeeding is beneficial. do i need to expound on this? other than the nutritional part, which everyone seems to harp on, let me just say that at 2 am, then 4am, then 6 am, when bella would wake for feedings, if i had had to make a bottle each time? i may have hurt someone. sleep deprivation makes me crazy (as it does most people i know) and being able to feed her without fully waking up sometimes, saved my life. i kid you not. plus, knowing myself, had i needed to fix a bottle for the 3rd time at 2 am, there is no telling what would have made it in there. or what temperature it would have been.

truth #3-breastfeeding is hard. wait, i already said that one?? well, it's true. and i hate hearing that people quit or choose not to nurse just because it was too hard. i guess this stems from my frustration at people who get pregnant easily and didn't even want a baby. because there are people out there who want to nurse and can't, it seems unjust to me that there are people who are capable, but don't because it was too hard. (please don't confuse this with people who have issues like work, medications, illnesses, etc. i mean people who just say, i don't want to do it because it is too hard. period. end of statement.)

support systems are CRUCIAL to new mothers who think they may want to nurse. without one, it IS too hard. surrounding yourself with people who make you feel weird will only make it harder. surrounding yourself with people who are supportive, even if they don't fully understand it, will help make you feel like you are doing something important. and that's good. because you are.

a big fat lie: "breastfeeding should never hurt". on day 2 in the hospital, the lactation consultant came in and asked if i had any questions. i didn't but i did mention that i was sore from nursing. "breastfeeding should never hurt!" she insisted. over the next few weeks, i felt immense guilt that i was doing something wrong because it DID hurt. it hurt a lot. i remember a few times actually screaming out when bella latched because it hurt so badly. i kept feeling defeated. that i was doing something wrong. that i had failed because it hurt. and i feared that it would always hurt. i even threatened (myself) that i would never do this again. but then, slowly the pain subsided. eventually, it didn't hurt at all, and feeding bella became a joy, rather than a burden.

it has been decided

and the winner is.....

True Random Number GeneratorMin: Max: 

Result:

7Powered by RANDOM.ORG

Jenn!! I have e-mailed you! 

thanks to everyone who participated in this giveaway.

bella loves her rompers and ruffles shirt! 

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we are out enjoying this beautiful day. i promise to come back this week with meaningful posts. probably. maybe. if it rains, most definitely. 

happy sunday!

i wish i had a good excuse..

i can't believe it has been almost an entire week since i have posted. i feel like i should have some amazing excuse, like i was in some remote tropical location that doesn't get 3g coverage or even cell phone service (hello, hawaii, right below my house....)

but i don't. pretty much i have done very little this week to warrant an excuse. except that it has been in the 70's almost every single day. and sunny. and perfect. so we have been outside getting our LIFE on.

last year, at this time, bella was so tiny, that i probably didn't go outside much, for fear that if i lay her down she may roll away and i would never even notice. but this year? the girl is on fire! she loves the outdoors. she runs, she falls, she rolls. i ask her, "bella, you want to go outside?" and she goes, "yep!" and runs to the door. as soon as she gets out of bed in the morning, she is chomping at the bit.

a couple of nights ago, we reserved our camping spot for our first camping trip of this year! last year, we went camping with her at the ripe old age of 5 months, and then again a month later. then we took her one more time, for good measure, right after she learned how to walk. with joels deployments to haiti and jordan, that was about all we could fit in during the warm months. this year, bella is in full blown small person mode-she can walk, run, stand up, sit down and practically swim, so i am a little nervous about taking her. the last time we went, she could just barely walk, but she was so slow, that she was pretty easy to catch when she did try to run off. she didn't really walk much, either, so i could sit her down and know that, 5 minutes later, she would probably still be there.

this year? i fear that if i look away for 1 second, she may be in the water. so in preparation, we decided to get her, her very own life jacket.

i'll sit right here, mom. now, where's the water?

i'm outta here. 

we're pretty excited about trying this bad boy out. can't you tell??

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if you haven't entered yet, rompers and ruffles is giving away a cute onesie or t-shirt with the applique of your choice on it. if i could enter my own giveaway, i so would. but since i can't, YOU SHOULD!! bella will be getting her goodies any day now, and my heart is all a flutter with anticipation! giveaway ends feb 27th, at noon!! so get on it!

spring has sprung....for now

this weekend has been fantabulous. upper 70's and sunny all 3 days. saturday we got up early and drove out to savannah to spend the afternoon with our good friends at tybee island and walking around downtown. sunday, we spent most of the day at the dog park with some other good friends and our combined 4 fur babies. and today, we spent all morning at the park and all afternoon in our back yard. 

i love this weather. it reminds me of hawaii and the temperate climate. the first thing i said the day we landed in hawaii was, "i hope i never take this weather for granted". i missed the snow and the change of the seasons, but i loved how it was always hovering right around that blissful warmth. 

being from north carolina, i know this weather won't last long. honestly, next week it could snow 2 feet and i would not be a bit surprised. and then after that? it will be 98 with 100% humidity. but for now, i am enjoying the beautiful, early spring and all the fun that comes along with it. 

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i got some great pics of bella on her slide, and i am entering the "don't make me come up there" giveaway at we are that family. 

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don't forget about the rompers and ruffles giveaway! ends feb 27th! if you haven't entered already, get on it!! 

rompers and ruffles giveaway

another giveaway. i know. but trust me on this one. 

i met taylor in high school. we went to the same church, knew the same people, and she was pretty much the nicest person i had ever met. 

through the glory of facebook, after probably 7 years, we crossed paths again, when she had her first baby, parker-a cutie patootey little man with a face you can't resist. she had made all of his bedding and curtains in his nursery, and comments littered her pictures about how she MUST sell her stuff. 

then, she recently found out she was having a little girl, and a whirlwind of martha stewarting began. i don't even think that really encompasses all of the creating that has been taking place. again, people commented, almost each poster mentioning something along the lines of blahblah!!ETSY!!blah! 

so when taylor said she was going into business with her friend to start making baby stuff, i was like, duh! it's about time!!

and so began rompers and ruffles. 

i love all things monogrammed and appliquéd for babies. and i love how personalized outfits become when you add that special touch of handmade. so, i asked taylor if i could help advertise for her by hosting a giveaway. 

people? you will not be disappointed! 

go. check them out. 

what did i tell you? 

what's even better? this isn't just another handmade shop. a portion of all of their proceeds go to the levine children's hospital, where taylor's son, parker was born, 8 weeks premature. he weighed a whopping 3 pounds 10 ounces. i can't even imagine that, as bella was more than twice that size. he stayed in the NICU for 4 weeks and is now a healthy, happy little boy! they do great work there, and rompers and ruffles is giving back to them. it's a win-win. you can read a little more about that, and how rompers and ruffles started, here. 

so here is the giveaway part. taylor has offered one lucky reader the chance to win the appliqué of their choice on a short sleeved onesie or t-shirt, just in time for all this warm weather! 

this would be my pick:

or maybe this one:

no wait.....i like this one!

ooh and sometimes i wish i had a boy, because how cute is this!?

and this!?

{giveaway rules}

one comment per entry. there are several chances to enter, but you must leave a separate comment for each one.

leave your e-mail address in at least one of your entries.

{mandatory entry}

go to rompers and ruffles and browse through their appliqué selection. come back here and tell me which one you would choose to go on a short sleeved onesie or t-shirt

that's it. easy peasy, lemon squeezy.  

{extra entries}

follow me, and let me know you did (+1 entry)

"like" this blog on facebook, and leave a comment telling me you did (+1 entry)

"like" rompers and ruffles on facebook, and leave a comment (+1 entry)

tweet this: "@this_isparadise and rompers and ruffles want your kid to look cute! enter to win an appliquéd onesie or t for your little one! ends feb 27" and leave your twitter handle in a comment (+1 entry)

follow @this_isparadise on twitter, and leave your handle in a comment (+1 entry)

purchase anything from rompers and ruffles, and let me know you did (+3 entries-separate comment for each)

that's a lot of entry opportunities, so get to it! giveaway ends 27 feb at 12pm. i will draw the winner randomly through random.org and contact them within 24 hours of the end of the giveaway. 

mama kat's writers workshop: my husband makes me proud.

one of mama kat's writing prompts this week is "husbands. a post that will hopefully not get you in trouble"

i like to complain about my husband. mostly because, well....he is just so darn....husband-like. you know the type-clueless. forgetful. so much like a 16 year old boy that you sometimes forget you are not his mother? 

i was going to tap out this lovely little ditty about how he woke up at 6am to go turn on the blender, subsequently waking me AND the tiny terrorist that resides on the other side of the house. or maybe i would recycle this gem from when he was forgetful (one of the MANY times). 

but as i was drafting what i would say, i changed my mind. so, here is what i think about my husband. 

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joel,

there are plenty of husbands who are the bread winners for their families. they wake early, come home late, working hard all day to provide a life for their families, allowing their wives to stay home with their children. that doesn't make you unique. 

what makes you special, what makes me proud, is not that you do, it's what you do. 

you are a smart man. when we were in college, i have this distinct memory of you never studying. we would walk to class, then meet up a few hours later after classes were over, and go eat, or go hang out with friends, go to a movie, go to a club meeting or a coffee shop. a park, or the pool. but never once do i remember you cracking a book. i would come upstairs to hang out and you would be playing video games or tinkering with some electronic thing. or goofing off with some of the guys on the floor. but not studying. 

when you told me that if you didn't pass our ballroom dance class, you wouldn't graduate, i assumed it was because your other classes were lacking, and that, indeed, this class would be a make or break class for you. it made sense, since you never studied. but then when grades came in and you graduated with a 3.85 CUMULATIVE, i thought maybe there was an error on your transcript. or maybe you misrepresented yourself.

you graduated in four years, which seems, in this day, an oddity. you scored a 98 on your asvab. you have a degree in computer science, and a masters in IT management. it seems that you could do whatever you choose with your life, and you would be wildly successful in whatever arena you choose. 

but that's not why i married you. 

while many people your age were "finding themselves" and enjoying their college years to the fullest extent, you made a commitment to serve your country. you could have joined a fraternity or done internships for some big money making company. but you chose a route that would undoubtedly be less lucrative, but would challenge you and force you to put service before self. on. the. daily. 

while many college students were sleeping off a hangover, you were up before the sun, working out and keeping yourself "fit to fight". 

while most people floundered through the first semesters of school, failing a couple of classes, switching majors 4 times (ahem....not me. someone else i know......), trying to figure out what they want to do, you decided a major, stuck with it, and excelled at it. 

you work hard. just like millions of other people. but in your off time, you go deliver meals with meals on wheels. you volunteer your time helping kids. you volunteer at animal shelters (all with your lovely wife, of course). you could rest on your laurels, knowing you're off the clock. but even in your off time, you want to help other people. 

you sacrifice birthdays. anniversaries. family vacations. eventually, maybe births of children. all for people you have never met, some of whom don't agree with what you do, so they can speak out (sometimes against you), so they can protest (sometimes at your fallen comrades funerals), so they can be free (sometimes as they attempt to take the freedoms of others). you leave your family behind, so that theirs are safe. and you chose to do this, knowing that you would face opposition. 

this is why i married you (one of the many reasons). this is what makes me so proud of you. there are others who do less, who are compensated more. but there is a sense of pride that you carry with you. 

i am proud to be your wife. i am proud of the life we have built. and i am proud of the father you are and will be. 

i love you. 

my dog is nasty. and this is not about valentines day

dear lola,

you? are disgusting.

you may be the nastiest dog i have ever known. those tasty morsels you are sneaking out of that giant bucket in the laundry room? are. not. chocolate.

you are eating poop.

i have heard of dogs eating other dogs poop. some instinctual thing about being dominant, blah, blah, blah. whatever. you are not covering tracks here. you are just eating poop.

i admit, i feed the kid some pretty awesome stuff. but i am pretty sure that everything remotely yummy about what she eats, is sucked out of that food before it gets to your mouth.

don't tell me that it's an accident. you have to work too hard to get them out of the pail for it to be an accident. and, personally? when i accidentally eat something disgusting? i usually try not to repeat it. ev. er.

the next time you mosey up to me with your butt breath? prepare to be shunned. because momma don't kiss poop eaters.

love, mommy.

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dear mommy,

i ate poop.

and i liked iiiiit.

love, lola.