Wednesday, January 7, 2009

questions unanswered and some storm clouds. but no fear.

this one is going to be short, and another won't follow for a week or so. my grandma is coming to visit me on saturday-which i am SO excited for-and i will be happily entertaining her for the week.

we are about 2-3 months from finding out our next station and 6-7 months from moving. the time seems to be flying by, and i am getting a little anxious over where we will be living next. will we be overseas or on the mainland? will we be at a large base or a small base? not that i
care-i am willing to go anywhere! but knowledge seems to be so comforting! i am reminded of the verse from philippians 4-“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”. when i pray for guidance, i feel like a child, asking "why"; like my questions are so meaningless in the grand scheme of things-why is the grass green, why is the sky blue. i ask for clarity on where we will go next, why i am being brought through certain things right now, why i have to wait for certain things and i know that, when all is said and done, there is a purpose in everything i am going through. i know that when i am on the other side, i will turn and praise God for his provisions rather than ask why, but in the midst of the storm i can't help but wonder if there is a silver lining. i know what you are thinking-why so bleak when it is just over a station? well the simplest (and most vague) answer is-it's not. =) i am not ready to publicize that yet, but i know i am in the midst of a storm, and i am coming to a place where i am embracing it.

i personally love rain. the darker the clouds the better. living in hawaii, there aren't many big thunderstorms, but when they come i cherish every moment. i don't know why-i have for as long as i can remember. that being said-i don't really get too excited when i have a metaphorical storm in my life. but this time i am choosing to praise Him in the storm rather than fight it. that doesn't mean i am all together happy about my circumstances, but i am not going to allow that to control me. i know that in all things
God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. and i believe there is a purpose-no matter how tempted i am to think otherwise.

ok so maybe not short-i shouldn't put those disclaimers on anything i write i guess.

one more thing to update-
joel and i have recently been "church shopping" and have stumbled upon a place called imago dei. it is different (in a good way) but we are going to go a few more times before we settle anywhere. even though we only have a short time before we leave, we feel like it is important for us to find a place that fosters growth. we loved our old church, but we felt that we were beginning to become stagnant, and needed a little change. more to come on how that pans out.

overall-please pray for strength, understanding and peace for us over the next couple of months. here's to new adventures!

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