why i'll never have the house of my dreams

i think i have been setting myself up for disappointment.

let me explain. in hawaii, rent for the size apartment we owned was around $1,600 (i won't tell you how much our mortgage was, for fear that you may fall. over. and. die!). that's for a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom 700 sq. ft. apartment, that was more compact than our car!

so when we moved to georgia, the first thing that flashed through my mind was how huge of a house we could live in. i started looking up housing, searching for 4 or 5 bedroom houses, with the most beautiful kitchens and backyards (did i mention our backyard was 100 sq ft? when you have to measure in sq. ft., you know it's small). 3 car garages, all brick. nice, pretty houses. for us to have lots of nice pretty babies in. where we would have to buy lots of baby gates, for all of the cascading staircases we would have to keep our babies from tumbling down.

ok, so there aren't a plethora of homes like that around her for rent. and most of those don't accept dogs. but, i did find SEVERAL beautiful homes that were well within our budget.

and this was all day one.

needless to say, i get ahead of myself. i was planning our baby's first birthday bash in the backyard of our 3,000 sq. ft. home. and i had JUST found out i was pregnant.

joel decides to tell me now about his job. which is "highly deployable", so he thinks it would be a good idea to live in an apartment, you know, so when he leaves, i don't have to do yard work and maintenance with a baby. or i can up and go stay with my mom if i want. plus, we can save soooooo much money, and we won't always be able to live in an apartment, so why not do it now, while we can....blah, blah, blah. why does my husband have to be so darn practical? and such a debbie downer.

the big beautiful house of my dreams, is out of my dreams.

we sign a lease in an apartment. it's nice. not too small, perfect for a small family. and it has 2 pools.

fast forward a year. no deployment (with the exception of 45 days to haiti). and i am looking at rental websites again. those big beautiful houses. with their yards, and their garages. curse you. because "a deployment is looming". in the next month or two. or 6. or 12........and gosh, it's just so darn cheap! oh and now we have 2 dogs. and landlords hate dogs.

so i will wait. one day, my house will come.

father's day, take 1

i have a confession. father's day leaves me dumbfounded.

first, a little history. so father's day "started" in 1910, but didn't become officially recognized until 1972. on the other hand, we officially celebrated mother's in 1910.

now don't get me wrong. mother's are pretty darn important. i mean, without mom's, well. none of us would exist. of course, without dad's none of us would exist either.

mom's seem like the obvious one's to celebrate. they labored, and delivered, and nursed, and rocked. they are usually the one's who go to sleep late and wake up early, who get up in the middle of the night. who kiss boo-boo's and pick us up when we skin our knees.

but dad's. dad's scare the monster's from under the bed. they teach us how to ride a bike, and throw a ball. and take a ball to the shin, with dignity. they show us how to be a team player, and how to sacrifice for the good of the team. for the good of the family. they teach us humility. they wrestle and play. dad's are the one's who teach us how to be kids. how to live in the moment and enjoy every bit of it.

i am so thankful that bella has such a wonderful daddy. he will most definitely teach her how to be a kid. and she will be one of the coolest kids i know, because she will have such a great example (yes, sometimes i feel as though i am a mother of 2!). he will teach her how to change the oil in her car, how to change a tire. he will teach her how being gentle can be the same thing as being strong. and he will teach her how to love and laugh.

dad's are such amazing people. i cherish my daddy and want nothing more than to make him proud. i can't wait to see how bella and joel's relationship evolves over her life. bella already adores her daddy. when he walks in the room, you can see it all over her little face.