a 13 month old lives here.

how can i tell? let me count the ways....

i spend all day cleaning only to walk back through the house and see a path of destruction.

last year, when things got quiet, all was right with the world. now? i kind of start to panic. because that usually means bella has destroyed something.

i find bananas in the weirdest places.

i have a whole new respect for stain removers.

being spontaneous means planning something a day in advance, and then spending the next 24 hours making sure i don't forget something. though inevitably, i will run out of wipes while standing in the bathroom changing her poopy diaper.

our date night plans depend on how much we want to pay the babysitter. it's often the difference between an epic saga and a mindless comedy. or staying in all together.

a fun day of shopping usually ends up with me coming home with bags and bags....of baby stuff.

lunch dates include the options of chic-fil-a, jumpin' jax or a similarly entertaining space.

i know my floors are clean when i don't cringe when bella decides she will be having lunch off the ground.

my shows on the DVR have slowly gone from racy dramas about steamy doctors, to animated shows about talking trains and clay-mation lambs.

our bedtime routine is a nice long bubble bath, reading a good book, then listening to music to go to bed. and then i drag myself to my bed, where i fall asleep with one leg hanging off the side. sometimes? i only make it to the couch.

my life has changed so dramatically. i wouldn't trade it. not for all the sleep in the world.

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and don't forget to enter the smartipants giveaway! ends january 20th at 12 pm est! 

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a note to brand new mommas......

it will get easier. 

then it will get hard again. 

it will be something different. when babies are teeny, it's hard because it's new. sitting here, while my 10 month old is sound asleep, i can remember, when she was small, sleeping on the couch for close to 2 months. i just couldn't quite figure out how i could sleep in my bed. my baby WOULD. NOT. SLEEP. in anything except her swing. and only for an hour or two at a time, if that. my boobies hurt. my back hurt. my head hurt. other places hurt. and in ways i never imagined. and my heart hurt. which i didn't expect. 

those first few weeks were so hard emotionally. i wanted to just sit and hold my little child, but i also wanted to hold my husband. and snuggle with him in the morning. and i wanted to snuggle with my pup, who, up until then, had been our baby. i wanted to spend every moment looking at bella. because it was amazing that she even existed. but the more time i spent with her, the less time i had to spend with joel. when bella was about 4 weeks old, i cried for the first time. i was so sorry that i wasn't being a good wife. a good friend. but it was a new dimension to our relationship and i didn't know how to function.

things have settled tremendously now. i feel normal again. things aren't easy. but they feel right. 

some days, i long for those early moments again. when i would be wide awake at 2 in the morning, feeling like i was the only one in the world who was awake. then waking again at 6, and watching the sun rise as i nursed my newborn. it was so peaceful and beautiful. 

every day was an adventure. every thing was new and exciting. now, things are routine and comfortable. we have fallen into a routine of stumble out of bed, play all morning, nap (sometimes both of us) and then around 12, my day actually starts. some most days i get overwhelmed. i throw my keys away, i leave cars unlocked (which leads to things being stolen from us), i lose things, i break things, and most days i feel like a bit of a failure. then bella walks over to me, puts her head in my lap and makes kissy mouths at me. and i feel like super mom. 

it's all pretty fantastic. and i don't know why i am so blessed.