meet the neighbors

my brain has been all over the place the last few weeks, and my heart has been very heavy. most of it, i can't really talk about in a public forum like this, and because it consumes my thoughts, i have simply not written anything of substance in a long time.

and some of it, is just difficult to explain. i tap out a long post, only to read it and find myself saying, "what was i even talking about?"

i'm going to go with my better judgement, and i am going to keep these things to myself for now. they may come out later. i just felt the need to explain my absence and somber tone lately.

now, onto silly things.

we have new neighbors. they are.....

hmm.

i don't like to pass judgement about a person the moment i meet them, but sometimes, people make it hard.

neighbor lady: (standing outside in the backyard smoking, her 3 year old son running around)

me: hi! did you guys just move in? (i mean...duh...but i had to open it somewhere, right?)

nl: yeah, we just closed friday. now we're guttin' the place.

me: nice. well welcome and congrats on your new house.

nl: your dogs mean?

me: um. no. oh the fence? we put that up because one of our dogs is a jumper. but they are not mean at all. (i say, as duke is barking like a mad man at their dogs)

nl: just checkin. i seen that fence and thought maybe they were biters or sumthin.

me: nope. just jumpers.

nl: you got a kid??

me: (looks around at all the toys scattered around the backyard) yep, just one. she's about 17 months.

nl: (takes a long drag off her cigarette): yah, we just got this un here (the wild banshee child, running around and screaming at the top of his lungs), and i'm due with our second in september.

and those are our neighbors! yay us!!

i may have jinxed myself

....when i said i hoped this camping trip would be drier than the last one.

we planned this trip back in february. 10 days out we looked at the weather. 80's and 70's during the day, 50's and 60's at night. the week leading up to it elicited pool days in the backyard. 3 days out, the forecast still looked promising, with high's still projected to be in the 70's, though there was a slight chance, 30%, of rain.

thursday night, a friend informed me that it was supposed to rain all weekend. i checked the report. 60% chance of rain saturday. 40% on sunday. those odds did not bother us. rain is no big deal. we have equipment for rain. rain can be fun!

we got a late start friday. i'm talking 4 hours later than i wanted to leave. but did i take this as a bad sign? of course not! because we were in no rush for our fun, relaxing, albeit potentially wet, weekend.

friday night was great. hot dogs by the campfire, a little talking and goofing off, then off to bed, where we all slept....well, like you do when you camp. not at all.

thursday, we got up and had a great day. we took the canoe out, played several games of badminton (in which my dad and i won every round), and took bella to the park. it was a little cloudy, but it was nice.

and then it started raining. we put up the pop up, secured tarps around the outside and even set up a space heater to keep warm. we passed some time playing games and laughing and again, it was fun. when the rain let up a little, we took a trip out to walmart to get some things that we needed-a jacket for the baby, a wind fly for the pop up, some mat's to keep mud out of the tents, you know, essentials.

when we got back, the ranger came by to let us know there were severe thunderstorm watches and a possible tornado warning just north of us. we figured we would secure the tents a little better and ride it out. we made dinner and got back in the pop up right before the rain started again. more time passed. and it started getting a little dark and the rain was letting up so joel and i decided it was a perfect time to take the baby to get a shower, then come back and put her to bed.

as we drove up to the site, i saw our tent bending a little under the pressure of the wind, some things being tossed around in our tent. we parked the trucks, put the dogs in the back, and joel took off with the baby towards the campsite. he went into our tent to hold it down as the wind picked up a little. i came up shortly after with our bags. in the pop-up, my dad, step mom and friend's son were holding onto the rails and holding the wind fly shut. i jokingly mentioned that they should hold it a little tighter, because the legs were starting to come off the ground.

and then the wind began to howl. the legs began to lift higher, the tent shaking violently. things started to blow off of the table, and i could hear bella faintly crying behind me. the tent lifted higher. we were all clinging to it, white knuckled. i looked at my dad, and the expression he wore spoke volumes. it wasn't a look of fear, but one that said, "i do not know what is happening". my calm, collected, in control dad looked as though he knew things had reached far out of his control.

and i started to freak out. i couldn't hear anything as i clutched my chest and kept saying, "my baby. my baby. my baby." i couldn't get to her. i was frozen with fear as the tent lifted higher, until the legs were practically parallel with the ground. i wanted to run to my husband and my daughter, but i was afraid that if i left, something would happen. i don't know what i feared. maybe that i would get picked up like dorothy, or get hit by some chair flying through the air. my friends teenage son kept trying to assure me that things were going to be ok. my step mom held me with one free arm, while she gripped the tent with the other. i heard bella crying, faintly behind me. and i started to sob. joel yelled, "justine, get in here!". as the wind died down a little, i ran into our tent. bella was sitting on the ground, in only her diaper, screaming. joel was trying his hardest to secure the tent, as it wrapped around them like a venus fly trap.

i grabbed her up and joel told me to take her to the car. wrapping her in a blanket and a towel, i ran through the dark, willing my sight to adjust quickly. as i came up to the car, lighting flashed, illuminating the road. and the giant tree that was suspended a mere foot over the bed of our truck. where out four dogs were being kept. i stopped dead in my tracks, and cried out, through weeping sobs, "some....one.......PLEASE.....HEELLLPPP..........MEEEEEE!"

in that instant, i imagined my dogs, trapped in the bed of the truck (which has a cab over it) crushed beneath a tree. i went into our friends tent and sat there sobbing, while the wind whipped around us, bending and flexing the metal poles to its will. joel went and moved the car, and assured me that the dogs were ok.

slowly the wind started to wane. still, i sat in the tent, clutching my baby, rocking her, and crying.

the "neighbors", who were rv camping, came over to offer help as the men started to clean stuff up and assess the damage. i imagined that everything was destroyed, hundreds of dollars of camping equipment, bent and mangled. we broke down the tents, packed what we could in the rain, and left the campgrounds for something a little more.....stable.

that night, bella slept between joel and me, as we held hands and thanked God for our safety.

i have never felt that kind of fear before. i didn't know how the night would end up. it went by in a matter of 10 minutes, but it felt like much longer. it could have gone so much worse. everyone was safe, most of our stuff looked untouched, if not a little wet. our tent had a couple of bent bars, and rips in many of the seams, but nothing irreparable.

and we were safe.

we're baaaaaaaaack

that's right. we're back. i hate it. we had such a fun time at the beach and bella LOVED it. she loves the water, so i figured she would tolerate the ocean.

but she did more than tolerate it. she took it in with as much enthusiasm as a 8 month old can, and more. it made me sad that we no longer live in hawaii. i started thinking of all the fun we could have with her there.

she loves the waves.

i am sad we aren't there anymore, because i LOVE the beach. but we aren't. so it's back to reality. i have been getting crafty and am trying on some different hats. making stuff, mostly for the baby and friends. tutu's (because who ISN'T making tutu's right now?), bows (again....who's not doing that) and some baby clothes. nothing really too original. and i'm not trying to strike it big. it's mostly a hobby. but it's fun. i'll be going to some bazaar's to sell them and taking orders.

it's fun. it's time consuming. and it gives me a little bit more purpose.

you can see it here, but keep in mind, it is a serious work in progress.

other updates-i have been adding some things on here as well. check out some of my other tabs, especially the "bella dines" one. i have been making food since she was 1 week shy of 6 months, and thought i would share some of what she loves! feel free to leave some of your favorite recipes in the comments section!

i will leave you with a few more pics from the beach and this weekend.

gone, but don't forget me

i'm at the beach. it's blissful.

it's also bella's first ever trip to the sea. which is funny to realize considering she was conceived and spent more than half of her gestation living on an island. poor kid.

but, it's obvious that she was meant for the ocean. walking out into the surf for the first time ever, held right in front of me, she kicked her legs and laughed. the bigger the waves the more she would giggle, and when they crashed on us she would squeal with delight. i started dunking her down right before the waves hit us, and she would flap her arms, splashing the water, with a big grin on her face. she loves it.

and the beach? i fully expected her to put sand in her mouth, then rub it in her eyes and be done. but she navigates through the sand like a pro, digging with her pointer finger, smooshing it through her toes, picking up tiny shells and looking at them.

and she loves building sandcastles with her daddy. he dug her a little pool and stuck her in it, which she swiftly climbed out of.

so he dig it deeper.

then at least she stayed in one place for a moment.

we are here through saturday, so please forgive me if i am absent. living in the moment is hard when you are connected.

-----------------------

time to pack!

we are going to the beach this weekend.

usually, when we travel, i like to go bare bones-just enough clothes for the week, a tube of hair creme, my little makeup bag and my rainbows. i'm a simple girl, and mostly, i just live in my bathing suit (at least, prior to getting all fat and stretchy).

i don't like to lug a bunch of stuff around and usually, try to get EVERYTHING into one small bag.

then i had a baby.

the list of things that i have to take is WAY too long.

and the majority of that stuff is just for the baby.

where did i go wrong? i even tried marking stuff OFF the list, but unless she wants to run around sans diaper, or without a bed, that's not going to work.

i think this officially means i have become a mom.

{cue opening credits of yes, dear.}

we are those people now. over prepared with everything we will ever need to have a "home away from home", keep the kid satisfied beach vacation.

--------------------------------

check out what i have been up to!

how i spent my summer vacation. the final installment

day 3. remember how i said that the final day couldn't get worse? uh huh. and i promised i would eat my words. because i am really hungry. OBVIOUSLY.

we wake up, and after sleeping on cots AND a thermarest, i actually got a wonderful nights sleep. i woke up to the birds chirping and slept in until 8:30!! that never happens. i never get to sleep in at home, so the fact that i got to sleep in and then get up and drink coffee while the baby continued to sleep, meant that this was going to be the best day ever.

we decided to pack up before it got hot so that we could sit around and relax afterwards. we start folding chairs, and tarps, when the ants start biting. i got 6 on one foot, 4 on the other, 4 on my chest, and on my tush. fire ants in georgia are, in a word, ruthless (monday night, my foot was swollen so much, that i couldn't bend my ankle).

by the time we're packed, it's about 10:30 and we just decide it's time to go. we enjoyed our trip, but i think we were all ready to get outta dodge and get to our a/c and showers we didn't have to wear shoes in to, especially since now i can't put my shoes on.

last time joel and i camped on this lake, we wandered into augusta and found a shane's bbq. this was our plan today, too. after packing the cars, we would head into town for lunch before making our way back home. we were the last to leave and rather than take more time taking a shower, joel decided to go jump in the lake to cool off. he came back, toweled off outside of the car and then got in.

we get all the way to shane's and......well......here's where it gets dicey. we pull into the parking lot, and start looking for joel's shirt and wallet. our car is, like, a mess, so it's frustrating trying to find anything in there, but he KNOWS for a fact that his wallet and shirt were on his seat when he got in the car.

yes, they were in his seat when he grabbed his towel. he opened the door, then put his wallet in his shirt. then put his shirt on the roof. then toweled off. then.......crap.................

remember when joel put the camera on top of the car? and i drove around for 40 minutes with it up there, wondering where the camera went? and then i found it wedged in between the roof and the roof rack? well, this isn't like that time. this time, the shirt and the wallet were NOT stuck between the roof and the roof rack. or anywhere else in or on our car, for that matter.

we turned around and flew back towards the site in silence. i knew the minute either of us started talking, it wasn't going to be pretty. we get back to the campground and both get out and scour the site. when we don't find it there, we drive slowly down the road sweeping back and forth, hoping to see a dirt colored shirt, or a more dirt colored wallet. about halfway down the small road leading to the campground, i see his shirt in the grass!! i pull over and joel leaps out of the car. he pops back up in the window a few seconds later, showing me the shirt, holding it up by the shoulders. now, i could care less about this stupid shirt, which is why the grin on his face makes me want to slap him. there is no wallet. just his ugly, brown t-shirt. so he climbs back in and we keep going.

at this point, i assume the wallet has been picked up, and someone is having a good time at the corner store buying $4 fuzzy navels. but we keep looking anyway.

about 1/2 a mile down the road, i think i see it and slam on the brakes and swerve off the road. joel gets out again, sprinting down the road. i watch in the rear view mirror as he bends over, picks the thing up, and then hangs his head and drops his shoulders. all i can think is that it's NOT actually his wallet.

he turns around and holds it up and informs me that it IS, in fact, his wallet, but there are no cards in it. we walk up and down the street, assuming someone took the cards and threw the empty wallet out the window.

but then, from the side of the road, we see the stack of cards, splayed out through the grass.

we gather up the cards, and get back in the car.

surprisingly, on the way home, we talked about how much fun the weekend was. yes, despite the rain, the wind, ant bites, more rain and lost wallet, we actually had a really good time. on the way home, we "debriefed" about how we could make the next trip better. um, how about we check the weather, spray for bugs and not put valuable things on the roof? or, better idea, how bout we go to a holiday inn. yeah. that sounds good to me.

how i spent my summer vacation. part 2.

our first day of camping ended with all of us and all of our things being soaked. we all went to bed around 1 am, to the sounds of rain pelting the tent.

because the baby's pack n play got soaked as well, she ended up sleeping on a mat on the floor. with me. which means i got about one solid hour of sleep. because at 2:30, she started crawling around the tent. and didn't go back to sleep until 4. when my bladder decided it needed to be relieved. then, our dog puked in the tent. and then got OUT of the tent and disappeared. so i finally went to sleep at about 5:30am. when the sun came up.

and boy did it. saturday was a BEAUTIFUL day. we got up and started dragging all of our stuff out into the sunshine. we got in the kayaks and canoes, blew up all the floats, and got to relaxing. it looked like this day may actually shape up to be pretty nice.

at about 3, we decided to head into augusta, so joel could turn in one of his papers, which he would need the internet for. and guess what? starbucks just started offering free wi-fi. yep. that's our excuse. it definitely wasn't because we packed instant coffee that joel brought back from haiti that tasted like dirt. or that starbucks is notoriously cold. or the plethora of yummy goodness that comes out of there magic blender. it was because he needed to submit a paper. and only starbucks could help us out with this task.

we start to head back after our short (3 hour) excursion to "submit joel's paper", and we see the clouds start to get dark. right over where our campground is. oh heck. here we go again.

we pull up just in time for the wind to start. this time, we got smart. we brought all the chairs into a tent, lined the fronts of the tents with coolers and bricks (where the crap were those bricks yesterday!?), and rolled all the stuff we wanted to keep dry into the middle of the tents. we took everything down that could blow away, and then we climbed into the tents and sealed them up tight.

and the rain came.

fortunately this time, it let up after about an hour, and stopped completely after another 30 minutes or so. the boys were able to actually start a fire, and we busted all the food back out.

while our tent held up like a champ, and stayed relatively dry, my dad's tent on the other hand, didn't make it out so well. all that stuff we spent the entire day drying? soaked again. sleeping bags, sheets, clothes. even their cots had puddles on them.

note to self: if a company specializes in tents, they probably make a pretty good one. if they specialize in, oh, say......jeeps, well, their camping stuff is probably alright. in ideal conditions. monsoon rains and high winds? not ideal. you get what i'm trying to say? moving on.

dad decided that the holiday inn was more his camping style and they hightailed it out of there after our hot dog and baked beans dinner. which worked in my favor. i am not above sleeping on a wet cot.

after a good nights sleep, and somewhat dryer conditions, the final day has GOT to be better. really it can NOT get worse.

stay tuned as i eat. my. words.

how i spent my summer vacation. part 1.

i know i said my life wasn't that interesting. and i really meant it. i wake up, have coffee and breakfast (usually greek pomegranate yogurt with granola on top) , play with the baby, do some chores (maybe), eat lunch, play, eat dinner.....you get it. i play and eat. it's rough. i promise.

but it seems that i catch up on the weekend. this weekend, we went camping. we packed the car to the gills, strapped on the canoe and kayaks, and hit the road for some old fashioned summer fun.

once we got to out site, we realized how incredibly awesome it was!

THAT is where our site was. uhhh huh. we had our own little peninsula. beach all around, water all around. red ants all around. wait. i'm getting ahead of myself.......

day 1-set up camp. hit the water.

we set the kids up with a ride, and they get to it. for the next few hours, we paddled and swam and generally just relaxed. because that's what you DO on a camping trip.

even the dogs got in on the fun. poor duke didn't want to get left, so he was hauling butt to get out there. good thing he had a life jacket.

this day could NOT get better.

which would prove to be a true statement.

in the words of jo dee messina......

bring. on. the. rain.

it rained. and it rained. and it rained some more. before i get too much further, let me interject with a little nugget of wisdom. setting up a shelter DURING a thunderstorm? not an easy task. when camping, one should set this up BEFORE the rain comes. setting up a shelter in the rain is NOT, i repeat, NOT relaxing. or awesome.

but taking pictures of other people setting up a shelter is a ton of fun.

so, it's 6:30 pm. we're out on the water, lighting is striking. the words "should we go in?" get brought up. we meander back and about the time we get all the boats on shore, the wind starts and one of our tents blow completely on its side, and the others are practically horizontal. so we all start running around, trying to secure anything and everything that isn't already nailed down.

for some reason, maybe because we thought the storm would pass quickly, no one thought to put things in the tents, or cover things up. so when the rain started, it should be no surprise that everything got soaked. all the chairs, benches, food.

the forecast was 95 with a 30% chance of rain. 30%!!! this was not "30%, scattered showers" rain. this was torrential downpour, monsoon rain! (ok, i am exaggerating. a little) and it continued to rain for the next 6 hours.

most people would be discouraged by this. not us.

stay tuned for part 2. because, this HAS to be the worst of it. right?