have you ever noticed that the symptoms of depression are very similar to the symptoms of motherhood?
-loss of appetite-
well, with vomit on my shirt and poop on my pants, and after having chased my child around the house for the last 3 hours, i would rather shower and sleep than eat....
-loss of sleep-
i think this one speaks for itself, doesn't it? with a breastfeeding, sleep fighting, stubborn baby who still wakes 3-4 times a night sometimes, sleep isn't something i am familiar with.
carrying around a 20 pound sack of potatoes, bending over to pick up toys, crawling on the ground and changing a diaper in awkward positions tend to cause body aches. so does several sleepless night in a row.
-difficulty concentrating or remembering details-
did i tell you about when i threw my car keys away? no?? i can't remember......
-fatigue or loss of energy-
yes and yes. have you been reading along?
-loss of interest in things you once found pleasurable-
like, anything that requires too much energy? because i don't have any.
you see where i'm going with this? and it's all a vicious cycle. loss of sleep begets loss of energy, begets loss of interest, begets......what does that even mean. i've lost interest........
anyway, this is what i should have been doing today
but that takes energy. and interest.
instead, this is what i did
walked around like a zombie, because someone decided she wanted to wake up 4 times, the last of which, stretched from 3am until 7am, when i finally lost it, and put her in the crib. and guess what she did.......went to sleep. and stayed asleep until 9:30. now, WHY she couldn't do that earlier is BEYOND me. but i am assuming it's because i am so sleep deprived, hungry, unmotivated and interest-less, that i missed the huge sign that said,
PUT YOUR KID IN THE BED
BECAUSE SHE IS WIGGLING
AROUND IN. HER. SLEEP.
it was big. and red. and blinking. but i missed it, because i was looking through a haze.
i know, i know. worlds smallest violin. cry me a river, build me a bridge and get over it. i haven't eaten yet (oh wait, my appetite is back!!), and i'm tired. tomorrow i'll be better.
*disclaimer: i am in NO WAY trying to lighten the real problem of depression. i know that many people suffer with symptoms of this disease every day and that it is a serious and often life threatening problem.
i am however, making light of the "problem" that is, motherhood. which is, as we know, a necessary evil. especially when you have a kid THIS darn cute.
this stick figure saturday post brought to you by alabaster cow.