mama kat's writers workshop: friends

i've talked before about how the military life has caused us to move a lot. it's no secret. we move every 3-4 years. i realized in college that this situation could, put simply, suck. i had made some of the closest friends i could imagine, and then i realized that i would be moving half a globe away from them. and then? in 4 more years? i would do it again. i decided then, in my absolution of youth and knowledge, that i would simply never open my heart to anyone and wouldn't make any friends.

only, that never works. because i am a big open-upper. BIG TIME. and also? i really like having friends. so i made a few. some of the best friends ever. we laughed, we cried, we did really awesome stuff. there was one in particular that helped me through some of the hardest stuff i had faced. and then we said goodbye. 

now when we moved, i had new resolve. now, i want to make as many friends as possible. only, we are going to a base that deploys a lot, with not a lot of spouses my age, and i had a new baby. 

enter my friend, t.

she has 3 boys, 2 in high school. her husband works with my husband. they did the baby thing. they are now on to the high school thing. but we keep running into them, and we keep having awesome conversations. so we start to hang out. and they are just like us. FUN! (i'm not delusional one bit. we are pretty awesomely fun people.) 

we go camping, we go geocaching, we go swimming, we do all sorts of fun, awesome stuff with this family. her husband deploys, and we hang out constantly. then joel deploys, and leaves me here with a brand new baby, and t is by my side the whole time. then our husbands come back and we do more fun stuff. then joel deploys and i have to move. the baby, 2 dogs, and a 3 bedroom apartment +a storage shed full of stuff. by myself. in 3 days. i ask t. because she is my closest friend. the one i trust the most. i hate asking for help. and she understands that. and she brings her boys and she comes over.

t, her 2 teenagers, and me. 3 days. it was amazing. and hard. but we did it. and then i had to go to florida to help my mom. and i left my house-boxes everywhere, lots of cleaning needing to be done, rooms to be painted. i worried for most of the time i was in florida, because there was SO much to do before joel got home. 

i decided to come back a day early. i knew i would need lots of time. and with a baby? i would need even more (plus maybe a small army.....) i got home late that night, maybe around midnight. i walked in my house and........

::speechless::

there were no boxes. there were no paint cans. there were things hanging on walls. the ugly wallpaper that plagued the dining room? gone. the room,  now painted perfectly, as i had imagined. my kitchen? painted, even down to the chalkboard for bella. pots and pans put away, towels folded and put away. bella's nursery? set up. everything. 

for a minute i just stood in my kitchen. crying big crocodile tears. i was tired, i was overwhelmed, and i had nothing to do but go to bed. my friend, t, had done. it. all. 

then there was this weird feeling that came over me. embarrassment? a little. i had never had a friend who did something so huge, so selfless, for me. i have had some amazing friends and they have done a lot for me, but this was on a whole different level. an extreme makeover, home edition level. i'm unworthy of that kind of friendship. i have done nothing to deserve that thoughtfulness. i was a good friend, sure. a good friend. not a great one. my attention was focused on my baby and my husband and my mom and my sister and my dad and.......not on my friend. in that moment, i was scared. i was afraid i would lose that wonderful friend. i could never repay her for the thing she had done. and now we were uneven. i felt like i would always owe her this huge favor that i could never repay.

a few weeks went by. we hung out a few times, and i started to realize that she didn't want me to repay her. she just wanted to be my friend. she. wanted. to. be. MY. friend. she didn't care if i never repaid the favor. 

{i don't usually get "religious" on here. but people?

 is that not the most amazing parallel to the gospel? 

God loves us, forgives us, and sacrifices His Son for us. 

and all he wants is us. nothing we can do. nothing we can give.} 

my friend has this uncanny ability to serve. that is her gift. what a weighty but precious gift it is, too. the ability to give of ones self without receiving anything in return. she is strong, willing and able. and she gives happily. it often leaves me speechless. 

and again, i am blessed to have made such an awesome friend. that i will move away from in one year. but it will not be goodbye. just as i have moved from other friends and not said goodbye. 

this post has been brought to you by mama kat's writers workshop where the prompt was, 

Write about a time a friend left you speechless.

must haves: spring edition

this warm weather has me itching for spring! yesterday, the high here was in the 80's, and today it's supposed to be in the 70's. so in honor of warmer weather, and because online window shopping is way less work than real window shopping, here are my spring must haves:

how super cute is this!? from mcauleys unique boutique

i might wear this every single day. from athleta

new sperry's, because mine are way too old. and these are way too adorable.

some of these lovelies, from twenty five design

new keens, since lola ate mine. and since the weather is so nice,
we have 3 camping trips planned over the next 3 months.
definitely a must!

bella's must haves, for the cutest baby in yous life! 

bella loves her rompers and ruffles monogrammed shirt.

some super durable keens for camping all summer,
 and looking cute while playing at the park!

a new bathing suit for catching boys rays, from kelly's kids

bella can't wait to wear this too cute outfit, from gymboree

And just what every fab toddler prepping for
deployment needs, her very own daddy doll. 

this post is brought to you by mama kat's writers workshop where she asked for my top 10 "must haves" for this spring!

mama kat's writers workshop: my husband makes me proud.

one of mama kat's writing prompts this week is "husbands. a post that will hopefully not get you in trouble"

i like to complain about my husband. mostly because, well....he is just so darn....husband-like. you know the type-clueless. forgetful. so much like a 16 year old boy that you sometimes forget you are not his mother? 

i was going to tap out this lovely little ditty about how he woke up at 6am to go turn on the blender, subsequently waking me AND the tiny terrorist that resides on the other side of the house. or maybe i would recycle this gem from when he was forgetful (one of the MANY times). 

but as i was drafting what i would say, i changed my mind. so, here is what i think about my husband. 

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joel,

there are plenty of husbands who are the bread winners for their families. they wake early, come home late, working hard all day to provide a life for their families, allowing their wives to stay home with their children. that doesn't make you unique. 

what makes you special, what makes me proud, is not that you do, it's what you do. 

you are a smart man. when we were in college, i have this distinct memory of you never studying. we would walk to class, then meet up a few hours later after classes were over, and go eat, or go hang out with friends, go to a movie, go to a club meeting or a coffee shop. a park, or the pool. but never once do i remember you cracking a book. i would come upstairs to hang out and you would be playing video games or tinkering with some electronic thing. or goofing off with some of the guys on the floor. but not studying. 

when you told me that if you didn't pass our ballroom dance class, you wouldn't graduate, i assumed it was because your other classes were lacking, and that, indeed, this class would be a make or break class for you. it made sense, since you never studied. but then when grades came in and you graduated with a 3.85 CUMULATIVE, i thought maybe there was an error on your transcript. or maybe you misrepresented yourself.

you graduated in four years, which seems, in this day, an oddity. you scored a 98 on your asvab. you have a degree in computer science, and a masters in IT management. it seems that you could do whatever you choose with your life, and you would be wildly successful in whatever arena you choose. 

but that's not why i married you. 

while many people your age were "finding themselves" and enjoying their college years to the fullest extent, you made a commitment to serve your country. you could have joined a fraternity or done internships for some big money making company. but you chose a route that would undoubtedly be less lucrative, but would challenge you and force you to put service before self. on. the. daily. 

while many college students were sleeping off a hangover, you were up before the sun, working out and keeping yourself "fit to fight". 

while most people floundered through the first semesters of school, failing a couple of classes, switching majors 4 times (ahem....not me. someone else i know......), trying to figure out what they want to do, you decided a major, stuck with it, and excelled at it. 

you work hard. just like millions of other people. but in your off time, you go deliver meals with meals on wheels. you volunteer your time helping kids. you volunteer at animal shelters (all with your lovely wife, of course). you could rest on your laurels, knowing you're off the clock. but even in your off time, you want to help other people. 

you sacrifice birthdays. anniversaries. family vacations. eventually, maybe births of children. all for people you have never met, some of whom don't agree with what you do, so they can speak out (sometimes against you), so they can protest (sometimes at your fallen comrades funerals), so they can be free (sometimes as they attempt to take the freedoms of others). you leave your family behind, so that theirs are safe. and you chose to do this, knowing that you would face opposition. 

this is why i married you (one of the many reasons). this is what makes me so proud of you. there are others who do less, who are compensated more. but there is a sense of pride that you carry with you. 

i am proud to be your wife. i am proud of the life we have built. and i am proud of the father you are and will be. 

i love you. 

my funny valentines.

an {extra}ordinary day

i hear you calling.

the lights getting more intense.

you are wide awake.

we stay in jammies,

snuggled up with our waffles,

cold knocking outside.

mickey and manny, 

names i never thought i'd know,

not like this anyway. 

target becomes respite

from the mundane everyday,

daddy is not pleased.

playgroups, mommy friends,

going on adventures, too.

this is my new life.

fun is my new life.

i take this seriously.

you're only small now.

for a short, short, while.

i eat it up completely.

taking you all in.

just before your nap,

daddy makes it home for lunch.

his arms wide open.

your bright eyes light up,

like you have missed him so much,

like you are surprised.

we eat, play, us three

happy little family.

it can't get better.

it will get better.

as you grow, i watch in awe.

each milestone, great.

tomorrow is new.

and it goes by so quickly.

i try to freeze time.

each day quickly past.

my baby will soon grow up.

but today? i love.

this lovely haiku brought to you by 

 

where i generated a random prompt and was asked to:

write a haiku describing what you love about an ordinary day. 

letter to a celebrity. or in this case, a "not quite" celebrity.

i have been really busy the last month with moving, travelling and simply not having any internet connection, and so i have been absent. i have neglected my beloved blog. sometimes i felt bad about it. sometimes? notsomuch. because the truth is, even if we hadn't been moving and travelling, i probably still wouldn't have had much time to write. bella is 11 months old and is into EVERYTHING. she has been walking for about 2 months now, and she has gotten pretty good at it. which means now, i don't get to sit down. because she leaves a trail of destruction everywhere she goes. and it usually consists of things that are hazardous to her health.

now that we are settled, what better way to make my comeback, than to participate in mama kat's writers workshop? so here, for your reading pleasure is my "open letter to a celebrity":

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dear football wives "stars":

ok, i know you aren't truly celebrity. the only thing you have done that makes you famous is marry an athlete. and then get a reality show. but in our mixed up, backwards world, that apparently constitutes as hard work and is deemed worthy of our attention. i don't get it. but i get sucked in.

i don't actually watch your show. because it kind of makes me sick that we glorify your existence. i don't like the real housewives either, but they are so dumb and drama-centric that it kind of makes me feel good about my life. but i digress. i was a victim of bella changing the channels again, and it landed on your show.

three of you ladies were sitting in pedicure chairs, having your nails done, and talking about how even though you like what your husbands do (aka, you like that you get to spend seemingly limitless amount of money and live in a big nice house, while your nanny raises your kids and your maids keep your palace livable), you fear every moment that he steps on the field because he "puts his life on the line everyday".

spoiled-rich-woman-with-too-much-time-and-not-enough-responsibility say WHAT?!

honey, let me tell you something. MY husband (along with the husbands and wives of most of my friends) puts his life on the line. so that you can make asinine comments like that one. so that you can live in your fancy house, and spend your fancy money. so that you can sit in that chair, and get that pedicure, by some woman who probably gave up a lot so she could scrub your calloused feet, which got that way, not by walking long distances in combat boots, but by treading around the mall in too-high heels, carrying too heavy shopping bags.

let me get one thing straight. i am not upset by the fact that you are complaining that you worry about your husbands physical health. or that you are afraid he might get seriously injured. i think that is a sentiment shared by every wife in the world. and i don't mean to make light of your pain. not being around your husband as much as you would like, sucks. but my sympathy does not extend much past that.

but let me shed some light on your comment. your husband risks his body for the sake of a game. for entertainment. my husband (and the other people of service like him) risks his life for the sake of the people of this country. he sacrifices holidays, weekends, dinners with the family and seeing milestones in his children's lives for the sake of national security. and he is not compensated nearly as well.

do you have a right to complain? absolutely. and people like my husband gave their lives so you could have it.

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my tirade is done.