one thing i never want back.

i have never been good with writing prompts. they usually inspire writers block, for me. but i was perusing the blogoshpere this morning and i saw this, and IMMEDIATELY i was inspired. because i have been wanting to write about this for a while, but just haven't so here it is:

“What did you once lose? Write about your search to find it again.”

my first thought was my mind, but i lose that on a daily basis and rarely ever find it again. but there is one thing that about a year and a half ago i lost, and now, have found again. my weight. i know, i know, "get over it already! you just had a baby" (um hello, 5 1/2 MONTHS AGO!).

i have never been a skinny minny, but i have never been what you would call fat, either. i've played sports my whole life, have always been active, and have never had a problem eating my veggies. i have, however always had a little extra cushion. i always tried to lose it, but mostly it was my bff and couldn't stand to go far.

so when we started trying to have a baby, my doctors kept telling me (as they did for EVERY health problem i struggled with) to lose some weight. so, joel and i teamed up and decided to lose some weight together. we did p90x and i successfully lost 10 pounds in a month!! now at that point, i only needed to lose about 10 more pounds to be well in the green. and then i got pregnant.

i couldn't do p90x anymore, but i did continue to walk, run, swim, hike and eat well (when i wasn't puking at the mere mention of anything made from an animal). as you know, the weight slowly packs on, but i was able to keep my weight pretty low, only gaining 25 pounds over the whole 9 months. after giving birth to an almost 9 pound baby, i had lost close to 15 pounds after the birth, and over the next few weeks dropped almost every single bit of it, again LOSING my weight. this is the one thing i don't mind losing! i'll lose it every day and never be sad.

but alas, the prompt asks for something you found. well i found my weight. yep, hiding in that stress-eating bowl of ice cream. i am a really good finder of this weight. i never lose it for long. it's much like the cat that came back. i shipped it to timbuktu, and it showed up the next morning.

maybe it's time i embrace it??? nah, i think i'll keep trying to lose this one thing. maybe one day, i won't be able to find it again.