stick figure saturday: worlds smallest violin. playing just for me.

have you ever noticed that the symptoms of depression are very similar to the symptoms of motherhood?

-loss of appetite-

well, with vomit on my shirt and poop on my pants, and after having chased my child around the house for the last 3 hours, i would rather shower and sleep than eat....

-loss of sleep-

i think this one speaks for itself, doesn't it? with a breastfeeding, sleep fighting, stubborn baby who still wakes 3-4 times a night sometimes, sleep isn't something i am familiar with.

-body aches-

carrying around a 20 pound sack of potatoes, bending over to pick up toys, crawling on the ground and changing a diaper in awkward positions tend to cause body aches. so does several sleepless night in a row.

-difficulty concentrating or remembering details-

did i tell you about when i threw my car keys away? no?? i can't remember......

-fatigue or loss of energy-

yes and yes. have you been reading along?

-loss of interest in things you once found pleasurable-

like, anything that requires too much energy? because i don't have any.

you see where i'm going with this? and it's all a vicious cycle. loss of sleep begets loss of energy, begets loss of interest, begets......what does that even mean. i've lost interest........

anyway, this is what i should have been doing today

but that takes energy. and interest.

instead, this is what i did

walked around like a zombie, because someone decided she wanted to wake up 4 times, the last of which, stretched from 3am until 7am, when i finally lost it, and put her in the crib. and guess what she did.......went to sleep. and stayed asleep until 9:30. now, WHY she couldn't do that earlier is BEYOND me. but i am assuming it's because i am so sleep deprived, hungry, unmotivated and interest-less, that i missed the huge sign that said,

PUT YOUR KID IN THE BED

BECAUSE SHE IS WIGGLING

AROUND IN. HER. SLEEP.

it was big. and red. and blinking. but i missed it, because i was looking through a haze.

i know, i know. worlds smallest violin. cry me a river, build me a bridge and get over it. i haven't eaten yet (oh wait, my appetite is back!!), and i'm tired. tomorrow i'll be better.

*disclaimer: i am in NO WAY trying to lighten the real problem of depression. i know that many people suffer with symptoms of this disease every day and that it is a serious and often life threatening problem.

i am however, making light of the "problem" that is, motherhood. which is, as we know, a necessary evil. especially when you have a kid THIS darn cute.

this stick figure saturday post brought to you by alabaster cow.

i had to come back for WINEsday!!

we have been drinking wine all week. if you haven't noticed, i haven't been around much. now you know why.....

for this weeks WINEsday, i am reviewing a beer. i know. that's not the topic! it's supposed to be WINEsday not BEERsday. well, this isn't your typical beer. it looks like a wine. and kind of tastes like a wine. and you know what they say- if it looks like a duck, and it talks like a duck, then it must be wine. something like that. i don't know. i drank the whole bottle.

lindeman's framboise. framboise is pronounced fram-bwa. just so you sound like you know what you are talking about. which you will in .25 seconds.....

framboise is a belgian beer that is fermented with rasberries. long before hops were common in most beers, fruits and vegetables were used. the acidity of the beer mixes well with the rasberries and makes a light, fizzy drink.

the first time i tried this was in a bar in hawaii, and it was served with a chocolate stout. it was like chocolate covered rasberries and alcohol with a little fizz. to. die. for.

this time we just ate lots of chocolate. and that was yummy too.

i have only ever found it in a trader joe's, in the beer aisle. even if you aren't a beer fan, you will love this drink. it is a little on the pricey side at almost $11 a bottle. it is a red color when poured with a pink head, so it is a fun drink for showers and parties.

enjoy!

M.I.A.

i have been missing the past few days. and i apologize. please don't think i have abandoned you.

here's the thing. for the first 3 days, we were planning a surprise. and i am not very good at keeping secrets. i tend to share too much. and the more i try to share everything BUT the thing in question, i end up letting it slip. so i decided to cut myself off for a little bit. that was thursday.

on saturday, we threw my little sister a surprise 21st birthday! (come back on WINEsday wednesday for more from that)i wanted to get on and do stick figure saturday, because that's my favorite thing and i even missed that.

and then, well, i got lazy. i admit it. i just didn't come back on sunday. because we stayed up way too late. and woke up way too early. and sat on the back porch while it stormed outside and bella fell asleep on my chest while we rocked in the hammock. i was enjoying it way too much to even think about the computer.

so today, i decided to gracde the blogosphere with my presence to see what i missed (a lot) and catch up on my writing a little.

bella and i are visiting family in NC and then in FL over the next 2 weeks, so posts may be sporadic, but fear not, i will be back! especially on WINEsday. as you know, that's my favorite day of the week. any excuse to sit around drinking wine.

trying to work on this mess. please bear with me. and don't judge too harshly. i never claimed to be good with anything computer related. i was just pretending......

it's WINEsday!

it's wednesday. the middle of the week. it's all down hill from here. hump day (haha). and most fun of all, WINEsday!

i am by no means a booze hound. or a lush (although, sometimes i wish i was......). but i do appreciate a good alcoholic beverage from time to time. especially a really good glass of wine. and especially after a hard day of poop and vomit and dogs and GAH! it's enough to drive anyone to drink, i swear.

so to celebrate alcoholic beverages, and the middle of the week, i am going to start sharing my favorite bottles of wine!! i shall look forward to today from hence forth with rambunctious pride.

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today's WINEsday wednesday bottle of wine is from a local winery. i love supporting local wineries. it's a win win, in my opinion.

this is a bottle of chalet white, from habersham winery in nacoochee village, in helen, ga. this is a sweet wine, styled after a riesling, but quite a bit sweeter. it makes for a great dessert wine. mmmmm. my two favorite things. sugar and alcohol. bring on the gout......

and it's an interesting label to boot. because that's what really drives my wine buying. what's on the label.

while this label is from habersham winery, i got it on a trip to juliette, ga, where they filmed fried green tomatoes. the shop was called southern grace, and it carries local products from georgia. it features a wine tasting room, courtesy of the habersham winery. i tried a variety of wines, and this sweet white wine was my favorite. hands down.

thank you for tuning in to WINEsday! come back next week, where i will hopefully climb out of my wine induced stupor to talk about another favorite bottle.

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this post is participating in word up, yo!

why i'll never have the house of my dreams

i think i have been setting myself up for disappointment.

let me explain. in hawaii, rent for the size apartment we owned was around $1,600 (i won't tell you how much our mortgage was, for fear that you may fall. over. and. die!). that's for a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom 700 sq. ft. apartment, that was more compact than our car!

so when we moved to georgia, the first thing that flashed through my mind was how huge of a house we could live in. i started looking up housing, searching for 4 or 5 bedroom houses, with the most beautiful kitchens and backyards (did i mention our backyard was 100 sq ft? when you have to measure in sq. ft., you know it's small). 3 car garages, all brick. nice, pretty houses. for us to have lots of nice pretty babies in. where we would have to buy lots of baby gates, for all of the cascading staircases we would have to keep our babies from tumbling down.

ok, so there aren't a plethora of homes like that around her for rent. and most of those don't accept dogs. but, i did find SEVERAL beautiful homes that were well within our budget.

and this was all day one.

needless to say, i get ahead of myself. i was planning our baby's first birthday bash in the backyard of our 3,000 sq. ft. home. and i had JUST found out i was pregnant.

joel decides to tell me now about his job. which is "highly deployable", so he thinks it would be a good idea to live in an apartment, you know, so when he leaves, i don't have to do yard work and maintenance with a baby. or i can up and go stay with my mom if i want. plus, we can save soooooo much money, and we won't always be able to live in an apartment, so why not do it now, while we can....blah, blah, blah. why does my husband have to be so darn practical? and such a debbie downer.

the big beautiful house of my dreams, is out of my dreams.

we sign a lease in an apartment. it's nice. not too small, perfect for a small family. and it has 2 pools.

fast forward a year. no deployment (with the exception of 45 days to haiti). and i am looking at rental websites again. those big beautiful houses. with their yards, and their garages. curse you. because "a deployment is looming". in the next month or two. or 6. or 12........and gosh, it's just so darn cheap! oh and now we have 2 dogs. and landlords hate dogs.

so i will wait. one day, my house will come.

who IS this kid?

i need to talk about my baby. because i do NOT do that enough. really. ok. so not really, i talk about her all the time. 24/7. maybe too much. i don't know. can you talk about your baby too much? can you talk about MY baby too much? i mean, look at her.

gah! she is so cute. i just want to nom on those little cheeks.

so here is what i want to talk about. my kid is amazing.

i don't want to talk about last night. because i don't want to jinx it, like last time. let's just say, it was monumental in the sleep department.

but yesterday, the girl stood on her own, for the first time. well, the first real time, at least. she has been "practicing" all week, letting go of things, only to flop down on her butt. but yesterday, she let go of me, and stood for 5 WHOLE SECONDS! for those of you without kids, this probably seems silly. but if you have babies bella's age, give or take a few months, this is pretty exciting (or, it's incredibly terrifying. it's a fine line).

for one, she just made 7 months last week. and while i know every momma thinks their baby is a "person prodigy" because they are better at being human than any other baby their age, i think my child is pretty incredible.

i am that mom. i always said i wouldn't be. that i would humbly make it through her childhood, never bragging, just being secretly proud of her every movement. but i lied. you just can't predict how those little hands will tug at your heart strings.

stick figure saturday: i want my mommy!!!

it's that time again! my new favorite post theme. stick figure saturday! i literally look forward to this now (even though it's only been one week....whatever, i take the small things).

and right in time, too, because i feel like my creativity well has been tapped. this week, i have been worn down. you might have noticed (if you stop by on a regular basis). my baby got old. then i sobbed. then wednesday came, and was wonky and weird, and drove me insane. and then i was MIA thursday and friday. i'm kind of having a hard time remembering thursday, but i think i did something fun. or maybe not.

but i came back for saturday, because i like stick figures. they make me feel like a kid. and that is fitting. because i want my mommy.

that's me. in the fetal position. rocking back and forth. while my dog relieves herself on the carpet for the billiontieth time and the baby puts random bugs/turds/questionable things in her mouth.

i kind of feel crazy. motherhood has become that to me. i ask questions to my 7 month old, that usually require an answer. i talk out loud. to no one. i increasingly feel like a hermit. and like i wrote about the other day, i do the same things, over and over, expecting different results.

and what is the one thing that is guaranteed to cure what ails you? no, not a whole bottle of wine. YOUR MOMMY! well, my mommy. but you can't have her.

my mommy makes everything better. she lets me be me. and she watches my munchkin so i can eat/sleep/go potty/stare aimlessly at the wall. so i am counting down to the next time my mom can take over.

wonky wednesday. wait, is it wednesday? it is? ok. good.

why does my seedless watermelon have seeds? and why is it soggy? i haven't had watermelon in a long time, but i don't remember it being soggy.

while we're talking about ridiculous things, why do i ask my 7 month old, "what's wrong?". and i think i legitimately expect her to answer. i mean, she is in the living room playing, i'm cooking dinner. she starts to fuss. i say, "what's wrong, baby?" and keep cooking, waiting, in vain, for a response. she whines a little more, and i repeat, with a little more emphasis, "what is wrong?".

and why don't grocery store baggers know how to put my stuff in my reusable bags? you see that big silver one? the one with the giant words on the side, "FREEZER BAG". and you see all that cold stuff on the belt, grouped so conveniently together? yeah? then why did you put those in a plastic bag? and why do i even BRING my bags, if you are just going to pack my stuff in a plastic bag, and THEN in my bag?

one more thing. why, little miss lola, do i take you outside and let you poo, only to find 20 minutes later, that you have left me another present? in the hallway.

that is all. the oil in the gulf must be seeping in to the water supply around here. maybe i should change my filter........

bring on the sap!

i know i said no sappy post. and i meant it. 7 months is nothing to get sappy over (i mean, it's just another month of life! geez people, give me a break).

but i went to put bella down tonight like normal, and she went down like the perfect angel she is.

until i left to get ice cream (the devil).

i walk in the door (so excited about my ice cream, by the way), and joel is holding bella, tickling her and laughing.

my jaw hits the floor.

"WHY IS SHE AWAKE!?!?"

"umm. she wasn't just taking a nap?"

at 8:30? really?! when did bella start taking a nap at BEDTIME!?

::enter line of snarky comments directed at snarky husband from equally snarky wife::

so i try to put her back to bed. and for the next 3 hours, she screams her rants of protest. at one point i just lay her down and leave. finally, i queue up pandora on my phone and head in with a new found fervor for getting her to slumber land, and in a timely manner.

the bangles comes on. and i sing to her. and start sobbing. maybe from exhaustion. maybe because i haven't had a peaceful moment today (between her whining/crying/not napping, the dog vomiting/crapping all over the house, and trying to clean the mess from the dog vomiting/crapping all over the house). maybe because, when i sing a song, i really feel the lyrics. and this is what i sang...

When the daylight disappears

When you're haunted, I'll be near

When the shadows come to call

When you're too scared to stand tall

I can stand tall

Dream and let your dreams go

It's your turn to fly

Long as I'm standing by

You can close your eyes

I will take care of you

Long as you want me to

Whatever else I do

I will take care of you

Don't you worry, while you sleep

All my love is yours to keep

All you wish for, all you know

Will be yours when you let go

You can let go

Smile, if you can now

Smile through your tears

Here where your fears are known

Know you're safe at home

I will take care of you

Long as you want me to

Whatever else I do

I will take care of you

I will take care of you

Long as you want me to

Whatever else I do

I will take care of you...

goodnight, my sweet little 7 month old. sleep tight, knowing i will take care of you.

7 months

i got one of those "what i did when" calendars in the mail yesterday and started to fill it out. i realized that i haven't been writing stuff down so far, and i am starting to forget the exact "when". that makes me so sad, because it's only been 7 MONTHS!

so, i am going to brag a little bit. don't get mad at me (but in my defense, there are no sappy letters here. this time). this is more for posterity than anything else. so this is what ms. b has been up to this month:

-started cutting her top tooth

-can sit back down from pulling up (she's been pulling up since 5 1/2 months)

-started to stand on her own for a few seconds at a time

-feeds herself with her fingers by pinching her food with her thumb and forefinger

-walks around the furniture while holding on

-can climb stairs (that was a fun one.....)

-has started eating the dogs food. that's not really a milestone. but she eats it. and what's worse, is i think she likes it. weirdo.

i'm sure there is more, but a lot of the things she is doing, it feels like she has been doing forever.

on another note, there have been more bumps, real bruises, crocodile tears and looooong nights. the top teeth are definitely worse than the bottom teeth were. but along with long nights, bella had a whole week where she put herself to sleep. as in, i sang her song, laid her down in her crib, gave her a goodnight kiss and walked out. no sound. and she was asleep. i don't know when the sleep fairy decided to leave, but those were some blissful nights.

she has also been trying some new foods this month.

-butternut squash puree

-carrot puree

-carrot bits

-banana bits

-zucchini bits

-a bug. or two

-and a small bite of italian ice. i almost killed joel. especially since, right after, she SCREAMED for another bite. grrr. he has a personal mission to feed her anything that i don't want her to have.

and she has done a bit of travelling, too!

-juliette, ga, to where they filmed fried green tomatoes

-camping in augusta

-savannah

i can't believe how much she has grown in such a short time (broken record, anyone?).

my kid will beat up your kid.

today was bella's {read, mommy's} first play group! a group of spouses from the base, at jumpin jax. i don't know why i waited so long to do this.

well, this might have something to do with it.

my kid's a biter. i think she bit like 3 kids? ::hangs head in shame::

i mean, how do you teach an almost 7 month old (what!? when did that happen?) that biting is not ok? each time she did it, i would say, "no bite! not nice!" very sternly, and she would look at me, like this.

because she is rotten.

i am going to have my hands full for, like....the rest of my life.

next play group? well, let's just say it should involve copious amounts of wine, and be scheduled for after bella's bedtime.

momma's snarky when she doesn't get enough to eat.

am i the only one who measures the success of her day by the yumminess of her lunch? yes? well alright then.

a bad day is when i don't get lunch because little miss poopy pants has something else planned. then mommy gets snarky. no one likes a snarky momma. especially not snarky daddy. darn weekends. but i digress.

remember in the 2nd grade, when they tried to teach you about process by making you write how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich? well, i failed that because i forgot to say, "get the bread out of the bag". this time, i won't make that same mistake.

here are the ingredients for this lovely little adventure. ::takes bread OUT of bag:: let's get started.

lightly butter the bread, top with chicken, oregano, sliced tomatoes (not pictured), a light drizzle of olive oil and a slice of provolone. lightly butter another piece of bread and place it on top. viola!

mmmmm. that looks lovely

then add the compliments. blue corn tortilla chips and some hummus. this is my new favorite combo.

of course i already ate it, but just looking at it makes me hungry again.

stick figure saturday: poop!

i just learned about this fun thing that ericka over at alabaster cow does, called stick figure saturday. i love stick figures. i used to make them all the time at work, ehem....i mean...at....home.

none of those people read this blog so what do i care. i made them of people climbing palm trees,drowning in the deep end (while the slacker out there snoozed), and pooping in the pool. which seems to be a common trend in my life. the "poop" part, not the "in the pool" part. well. you'll see.

so this was my house at 1 am. and again at 3 am. oh, and again at 5 am. last night.

baby screaming. dog hacking. daddy sleeping. mommy....WIDE.AWAKE. this morning, daddy asked mommy, did you get up last night? he commonly asks me this. like "wow, i slept so well last night, nothing could have POSSIBLY happened!" but, my dear, lots happened last night. the new dog hocked up a lung. your baby cut another tooth. the old dog wiggled his way up to my face, at which point he decided to rip one. uh huh. i know, that is so gross. but IT HAPPENED! i mean, i can't hide the truth. so when daddy wakes up and asks mommy did she wake up, i want to give him the "devil-is-coming-out-of-my-face" face. instead, i give him a grumpy, "grrrrYES!"

then, i get out of bed, change baby's diaper (poop. lots of it.), then go to the laundry room to toss her diaper in the pail, when i smell...well.....more poop. and not "sweet baby ate carrots and peaches" poop. more like, "rescue dog ate death" poop.

yep. i was right. all over my living room floor. twice. and one was more puddly than poopy. and guess what daddy says to mommy. "man that sucks. you gonna clean it up?" to which i respond, "your turn!" and he runs out of the room gagging. saying "i just can't".

in his defense, he offered to do anything i wanted and take me out for breakfast. but then he just made breakfast. which was really good. whatever. i still had to pick up runny poop. and now i have to clean up from breakfast.

it's my bag baby, yaaaaah

cali over at ramblings from caliland is hosting a blog hop today and i just HAD to join in. i LOVE blog hops. but even more, i LURVE my diaper bag. and that's what this one is about. what is in your bag.

first things first. the bag. joel bought it for me for my birthday last year, without even being told! he is amazing. he even picked it out himself! he knows me so well because, like i said, i LUUUUURVE it.

it is a vera bradley bag and has lots and lots of pockets to hide fun little things. which i really understood when i started taking things out.....

here are (most of) bella's things. this pic is missing wipes, because the container floats around and i don't know where it is. starting from the upper left corner and working clockwise, some diapers, extra headbands, my nursing cover (bebe au lait), teethers (because she is cutting teeth like a maniac), happy baby organic puffs and happy baby organic melts (they keep the girl entertained for EVER), some cutie flip flops, clippers, (generic) tylenol, sippy cup (from grandma), cal baby bug lotion, cal baby calendula cream, a bottle with cold water in it (which she loves on a hot day), leg warmers (so she can crawl anywhere), some natures best all natural sunscreen, and a hat for sunny days. she usually has some sunglasses in there too, but hers are MIA for the moment. probably in the car. and there is also usually a cal baby sunscreen stick in the side pocket....i guess i have some things to find.

next up, my stuff. it pales in comparison. but i'm pretty low maintenance (compared to my very high maintenance baby).

so simple in fact, i couldn't get it to load to my photo editor. boo. anyway, here's my stuff: key to my car, pool bands, keys to joel's car/house/mailbox, bag holder, glasses case, wallet, mentha organics lip tint, my droid, and some pens. not quite as fun as bella's stuff, i have to admit. and why don't i get snacks?

seeing it all spread out, i don't really know how it all fits........

what's in YOUR bag?

::steps onto soapbox::

ehem. is this thing on? yes? ok.

when i was in college, i had to write a speech about something that motivates change. i picked puppy mills and adopting/rescuing, rather than going to a pet store and supporting the abusive way that many disreputable breeders handle their "business".

before i go much farther, i'm not saying that buying a dog from a breeder is bad. when done correctly, all parties involved are happy-including the momma dog. which is what is the most important thing, you see.

responsible breeders only breed their momma's a couple of times. they take care of all HER health issues (vaccinations, check ups, recovery time) and make certain that she lives a comfortable life. she is part of the family. and when she is done doing her duties, she is STILL part of the family. loved and cared for.

bad breeders keep their girls in cages, over breed them, DON'T care for the health, and when she is washed up, they dump her at a shelter, or on the side of the road. because she is useless now. i'm not going to get too far into it here. but if you really want to know how bad it can get, google image search "puppy mills" and you'll see what i mean.

this is something i am passionate about. so yesterday, when we saw some pictures from a local shelter of several sweet dogs who were about to be euthanized, i had no choice. i had to act. i hopped in the car, drove almost 2 hours and arrived at spalding animal control in griffin, ga.

bella and i walked up and down the 3 rows of kennels with dogs in them. these dogs looked so sad, and wanted so badly for you to just love them. there were several puppies (which of course bella LOVED), but puppies get adopted quickly, and as i was informed by the animal control officer, people come weekly to take the pups to no kill shelters. so i went to the front and said, "give me a list of the ones closest to death's door".

they gave me a list of 5. the officer showed me those dogs. "this one's mean", well....i can't have a mean dog with a baby. "this one has severe skin allergies. it's a cheap fix, but you have to put a treatment on her every day". i barely take a shower myself everyday. i don't know that i could handle that. "this one is skittish" ::read-not good with kids::

then we get down to the last 2. faith and hoss. hoss was a big hound, and he had the sweetest face. but he was almost 100 pounds. he sat there looking at me. i put my hand in his cage and he leaned his head down and nuzzled my fingers. i loved him. i cried. he was too big for our apartment, and with bella toddling around, it may not be a good mix. it broke my heart.

but faith, well, faith was smaller. smaller than duke. at a year old, she should be almost full grown (and her paws confirm that suspicion). she had ticks around her ears and was itching a lot, but those are easily fixable problems. we took her outside and she walked right beside us, sat when we stopped, licked the bella's feet.

i left to get some cash, and when i came back in i sang, "i gotta have faith!"

of course, faith isn't her real name. that's just the name they gave her at the shelter. we gave her lola. because, whatever lola wants, lola gets.

this is my little lola luftnagle (i like disney channel. so what. don't judge me, monkey.)

lovely lola was a little shy at first. but once we got her home, and gave her 3, yes 3 baths, she started to open up a little bit. this morning, after a good nights sleep and a full belly, she even started playing with duke. she is a sweet baby. she lays at our feet, follows us around, sits beside the baby. she is gentle and quiet. she has a family and we couldn't love her more.

lola was set to be put down today.

"no voice, no choice. rescue a shelter dog!"

before i kick the bucket....

the idea is to have 100 things that you want to do before you die. i can't think of 100, and really, i hate reading that much, so i would HATE to make you read that much. so i'll narrow it down to 20.

1. live overseas (england, italy and germany are my top 3 picks)

2. go on a week long canoe trip down a river. any river. preferably a planned one, and not alone.

3. visit all 50 states

4. give birth to a couple more babies, preferably with no "help"

5. do NYC on new years

6. go on a cruise

7. visit australia

8. travel all over europe

9. back pack the appalacians

10. watch my kid(s) play sports/instruments/parts in plays/with their friends

11. go on a mission trip

12. adopt/foster a couple of kids

13. be married for the rest of my life, to the same man (i know this sounds like it should be a given. but in this day and age, it's not.)

14. get a masters degree in something sport science/kinesiology related

15. do a dolphin adventure

16. compete in a triathlon

17. compete in the north shore swim series

18. sail around the keys

19. run a summer camp or at least run the swim program at one

20. live in/visit the pacific northwest

that's all i got for now. i might add a few to the list later.

what? did you just call me CRazY!? ::insert googly eyes::

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Albert Einstein

well, mr. einstein, call me crazy then.

i clean my house, every (other) day, expecting it to stay clean. i do my dishes (whenever i feel like it) expecting that they stay clean/don't load up in the sink again. i vacuum the floor (once a week? i don't know i can't remember.) and expect that the next time i do it, i don't overload the canister with dog fur. (can you see the downward spiral of disaster about to come?)

call my husband crazy, too.

he comes in the door and leaves a trail behind him of his uniform (which consists of WAY too many pieces, might i add), stretching from the front door to the shower and expects the next morning to see it washed and hung up, waiting for him.

baby? she must be a little nuts as well.

because she keeps pulling herself up on the coffee table, and then can't get back down. so she "walks" in circles around it. i guess expecting that it will eventually lead her back to the ground? and she keeps putting bugs in her mouth. maybe thinking that one day they will turn in to her yummy puffs? there's no tellin' what's going on in that kids head. she is really crazy.

and the dog? don't even get me started.

he scratches at the door, expecting that his lazy mommy and daddy will actually get up and take him out for a walk. he barks at the squirrels outside, thinking he can catch them if he could just get through that window. and for some strange reason, he thinks that if he stares at her long enough, the baby will go away.

see, over in the nelson house? we're all a little kooky. if you come visit, you might walk away a little kooky too. which is why i love wine. in large quantities.

thanks for sticking around for my big bunch of loony.

making my kid friends.

remember when bella met her BFF? it was a match made in heaven (or, hawaii, technically). except that bella kept trying to rip lia's face off. still. they loved each other.

this weekend, for the 4th, our friends came home to savannah. we are only about 2 1/2 hours west of there, so we JUMPED at the chance to visit!

this time, bella got to meet the whole family. ariyah played with bella, and kept asking her, "are you ok, bella?" and asking me what she could play with. i met ariyah right after she was born. and i instantly fell in love with her. over the next few months, i watched her begin to get personality. when everyone was done laughing at a joke, she would start to giggle. she would roll her eyes with the panache of a well seasoned 16 year old (at the ripe old age of 4 months). she did everything early, and i was as proud of her as i would be my own child! when she got a little older and could talk, i would walk in the door and she would say "hey jushy. where's joel?" i would tell her and she would say, "where's duke?". if joel would walk in the door, she would say, "go away, joel!". that's my girl.

jasmine, the middle baby, loved bella too. she would come over to me and say, "bella. bella. bella." and point at her. yes jas, that IS bella! then she would go hug her. we never got to know jas very well, because we all moved away after she was born, but now i see her sweet personality. she is sensitive, and when her little sister cries, so does she. she loves to snuggle. and she wants people to know what she is trying to say.

i don't know what kind of deal my friends made, because after these two, they were blessed with a 3rd little girl. bella's bff. natalia. this girl is intense. when she wants something, you know it. when they first met, bella would grab her face, her feet, her bib. this time when we put them together, lia could actually escape bella's attempts to eat her face. except, bella would chase her down and grab her diaper and make her sit back down.

it must be that whole first child thing. bella will be a bossy girl. just like her momma.

so we did what every mom friends do that have babies close to the same age. we put em in the tub! and they loved it for about 3 minutes. until bella got soap in her eyes and screamed.

they splashed and squealed. they were babies. in a tub. it doesn't get much cuter than that.

except when they have their jammies on.

hopefully, one day we will be stationed with our friends again and we can watch our kids grow up together.

---------------------------------

we did other stuff in savannah too. whenever i think of georgia, this is what i see

streets lined with giant old trees and spanish moss.

usually it's a dirt road. and big old houses. of course, i *know* all of georgia isn't this way. sleepy little towns, steeped in history and class. georgia peaches, who taalk liiike thiiis, whith that southern drawl. who call it "jaaaw-ja" and say y'aaaall.

i think i'm in the wrong era. but for a couple of days, that's where i was. walking down the cobblestone streets, with a nice tall glass of sweet tea.

now, back to reality. diapers all over the floor, waiting to be stuffed, and dirty dishes in the sink.

shame is the theme, i guess

eclipse: overshadow:

be greater in significance than.

no, that isn't the review of the movie. but it could be.

i'll start by saying that i am NOT a twi-hard. i refused to read any of the books for quite some time, mostly because teenage girls irritate me, and i therefore avoid anything that they get giddy over. enter, teenage "vampire" (c'mon, we all know that vampires do NOT sparkle, the sun blows them up and THEY HAVE FANGS!!!!) and werewolf. exit......me and my interest.

i only read it after being asked for the billionth time if i named bella after the character.

after reading the series, i seriously considered changing her name.

i watched twilight, and thought that it could quite possibly be the WORST movie i had ever seen. but dakota fanning was in the second and i think she is precious, so i watched the second one (while i was in labor, mind you) and thought it was a minor step above. i just can't get over how dramatic the characters are, while at the same time being TERRIBLE actors (but EXCELLENT at staring).

so why did i keep reading the series? because once i start something, i just can't stop! i'm not a quitter.

so i read the third book. and i actually ::gulp:: LIKED it! i know. i can't believe i just said that. i was slowly being won over. i still couldn't believe how anyone liked edward. c'mon! he sneaks into her BEDROOM at night to watch her sleep! can you say, staaaaalker!!!! but i was warming up to the bella character. don't get me wrong, i still think she is a bit fragile, and not in a "china doll, precious" way, but more of a "makes bad decisions and can't stand on her own two feet, stupid" kind of way. she irritates me.

BUT the book was written better, had a better plot and was a little more....vampire/werewolf title worthy. as in, there was actually some fighting and avenging going on.

i was a little ashamed to admit that i actually looked forward to seeing the third movie (even more so to admit that i watched the first two). but i was. so i went with a few friends last night to see it.

i liked it. i really liked it. ::hangs head in shame:: the cgi was believable (for once), the acting was a little better, there were some pretty good fight scenes (even though, i never knew vampires heads could break off like a glass vase. and if that's the case, why not just throw rocks at them?), and it was pretty entertaining listening to all the tweens/teen swoon when jacob first came on the screen.

i wouldn't so much call myself a fan. i still think bella is lame, and i hope MY bella is the exact opposite of her. but i'm opening up my mind. and actually looking forward to the next one.