why i'll never have the house of my dreams

i think i have been setting myself up for disappointment.

let me explain. in hawaii, rent for the size apartment we owned was around $1,600 (i won't tell you how much our mortgage was, for fear that you may fall. over. and. die!). that's for a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom 700 sq. ft. apartment, that was more compact than our car!

so when we moved to georgia, the first thing that flashed through my mind was how huge of a house we could live in. i started looking up housing, searching for 4 or 5 bedroom houses, with the most beautiful kitchens and backyards (did i mention our backyard was 100 sq ft? when you have to measure in sq. ft., you know it's small). 3 car garages, all brick. nice, pretty houses. for us to have lots of nice pretty babies in. where we would have to buy lots of baby gates, for all of the cascading staircases we would have to keep our babies from tumbling down.

ok, so there aren't a plethora of homes like that around her for rent. and most of those don't accept dogs. but, i did find SEVERAL beautiful homes that were well within our budget.

and this was all day one.

needless to say, i get ahead of myself. i was planning our baby's first birthday bash in the backyard of our 3,000 sq. ft. home. and i had JUST found out i was pregnant.

joel decides to tell me now about his job. which is "highly deployable", so he thinks it would be a good idea to live in an apartment, you know, so when he leaves, i don't have to do yard work and maintenance with a baby. or i can up and go stay with my mom if i want. plus, we can save soooooo much money, and we won't always be able to live in an apartment, so why not do it now, while we can....blah, blah, blah. why does my husband have to be so darn practical? and such a debbie downer.

the big beautiful house of my dreams, is out of my dreams.

we sign a lease in an apartment. it's nice. not too small, perfect for a small family. and it has 2 pools.

fast forward a year. no deployment (with the exception of 45 days to haiti). and i am looking at rental websites again. those big beautiful houses. with their yards, and their garages. curse you. because "a deployment is looming". in the next month or two. or 6. or 12........and gosh, it's just so darn cheap! oh and now we have 2 dogs. and landlords hate dogs.

so i will wait. one day, my house will come.