Monday, October 11, 2010

i am le tired

i haven't been around much lately. probably because bella has adopted a new wake up time of 5am. and that is becoming increasingly earlier, each day. this morning, she was up at 4. while i appreciate her desire to spend more time with her mommy, i could really use more than a few hours of sleep.

sure, part of the problem is that i'm not going to sleep until midnight. but really, i blame joel for that. i never can sleep when he is travelling.

so instead of blogging (or cleaning, or packing, or organizing, or eating) while she takes her naps, i sleep. and then wake up groggy, and let her nurse while i catch a few more minutes. and then let her play in her room, while i lay on the floor, half awake.

i feel like she is a newborn again, only worse, because while i am laying there on the ground she is walking on me, screaming and pulling my hair.

i HAVE stuff to say. but i am too tired to get on the computer to say what i want. so i slowly start feeling like i'm mildly schizophrenic, listening to the rambling "mom"ologue in my head.

even more, i don't have time to READ my favorite blogs. unless i get them in e-mail, because then i can read them laying in bed, with one eye open, off of my phone, when i am trying to fall back asleep after futilely convincing my almost 10 month old that playing in her room at 4am is NOT appropriate.

even after all of that complaining, i look at her, waddling around the living room, "tra-la-la"ing with her little sing songy voice, and i can't help but be overwhelmed by how blessed i am.

either she is that adorable, or i am slowly losing my mind.

3 comments:

Leah said...

I hope you find a new home quickly. So, you in turn can hopefully get a good nights rest...which will maybe wear off on Miss B!

Hi, I'm Natalie. said...

Aw. I hope the sleeping nonsense sorts it out soon. (Is there anything that helps you fall asleep earlier? I can't imagine functioning on 4 hrs - You're a superwoman! =)

Kristy said...

My two year old is now waking in the middle of the night demanding to sleep in "mommy bed." It is so hard. Feel like we are facing cry it out all over again. And that is so painful. And tiring. We'll probably get over this hurdle and then it will be time for big boy bed and it will start all over. Ugh.