Wednesday, February 2, 2011

let me clarify.

i keep rewriting this. then i read something and i get a new perspective, and i rewrite it again. here's what i want to say.....

don't judge me, monkey. i make choices. we all do. and i live with my choices. you don't. so why do you need to tell me i'm silly? why do you need to make me feel like i am doing something radical? i am a mom, and i have mom struggles, and i have person struggles. i'm unsure of a lot of things, but one thing i am not unsure of is that when i make a decision, it's mine. i own it. i stand by it. you may be right. and i may be crazy.

but baby, being a lunatic is what gets you through sometimes.

i won't get into details, because that's not important, but something i have learned is that the best thing to do for someone, is support them. whatever their decision is. if you love someone, you support them. clearly, self destructive behavior is not good. and if someone else is going to be hurt by a decision you are making, someone should intervene. BUT my decisions effect me, my husband, and my child, and so long as they are happy and healthy, i could give a rat's hind end about what you think.

and i say that with all the love my heart can muster.

this comes out of something silly. nothing serious, or rash. just comments made by individuals who think they are being helpful, when in reality, their comments are like swords. and they hurt. and they are WILDLY unnecessary.

my analytical mind has a hard time letting things go, as you can tell. if i don't say something in a moment, i toss the statement around, chew on it a bit, think about what i SHOULD have said, get angry over why it was said, start thinking about the intention of the statement, make up some kind of meaning behind it that most likely isn't there, and then i get my feelings hurt.

i don't do that all of the time, or most of the time, but when i feel strongly about something, that is, in fact, exactly what i do.

so, keep your criticisms of my decisions to yourself, unless they bother you. but be prepared for me to tell you why you're wrong. but you may be right. and i may be crazy.

that is all. we will now return you to your normal "my-baby-farts-rainbows" programming. have a nice day!

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