Wednesday, December 8, 2010

a bitter, old hag

we have been busy. 

not really. but i have an almost one year old. so every day feels like it's been a long one. lately, our schedule has made me very, very tired. 

i'm really surprised that i haven't lost weight. so, to all you skinny moms who, when asked how you look so great, say "oh, i chase a toddler around"? you're lying. you were skinny before. that's why you are skinny now. 

because i was fat before. and i'm fat now. i chase a very hyperactive one year old who doesn't sit still for two seconds and i don't eat, and i am not skinny. 

i don't know where i was going with that. except to say that i have become a bitter old hag. i'm hating on all kinds of people lately. and that isn't usually how i roll. 

i'm hating, obviously, on the skinny mommas out there. because i hardly eat and i'm constantly moving, yet i am not getting rock hard ab's nor do i look svelte in my skinny jeans. (i don't really hate you, just to be clear. i'm just jealous.)

i'm hating on people who sleep all night. because, yes, my one year old still wakes up at night. sometimes twice. OCCASIONALLY, three times. but we don't talk about those times. those are very dark times. 

i'm hating on people who have a christmas tree. because december is almost half way through and i still have no tree. actually, not much around here resembles christmas. we have stockings up, and an advent santa. there are lights on the back porch, but they are always there. and there is a wreath on the door, but, again....always there. christmas was so much more fun/easy when i didn't have to plan anything. 

pretty much, i am sleepy and cranky and uninspired. 

and this weekend is bella's first birthday. which might be adding to my crankiness. my baby is turning one. and it makes me sad. 

is that not one beautiful one year old?

baby, it's cold outside

one happy little elf

after scrolling through those, my mood has started to lift a little. 

be sure to check the "bella dines in paradise" tab for new recipes! 


Taylor Wise said...

You are NOT fat but I promise the fact she is turning one has you in a mood. I was in a TERRIBLE mood the whole week of Parker's 1st birthday. Not until I saw him enjoying his party did it change. I was so sad/mad that time had gone by so quickly (and that I was having to stop bottle feeding him) that I was in a funk for days! I cried on his birthday 3 times because I was sad. It's tough when they start to loose their innocence a bit and start choosing to be "bad." I hated that some cuddles got replaced with time outs and that the sweet mouth that used to blow kisses was replaced with constant "no's"..... BUT at 1 he also gained so much more personality, words and abilities. Out with the old and in with the new, right... I agree with you though.... it took me a long time to accept those changes. I think it's totally normal to have the "my baby is a toddler" blues! Give yourself a break, sit back and enjoy all her new "big girlness!"

Leah said...

I'm going to agree with Taylor and say that you are NOT FAT!!! But I agree with you too, I'm insanely jealous of all those skinny mom's out there, who some how are skinny AFTER they had a kid! It amazes me. But I tell myself that Noah was worth every pound that I gained! I know that your princess was as well :) I'm sure in the upcoming month when Noah turns one I will be in your same boat. You're an AMAZING mom, so don't be so hard on yourself!!!!