Thursday, March 10, 2011

mama kat's writers workshop: friends

i've talked before about how the military life has caused us to move a lot. it's no secret. we move every 3-4 years. i realized in college that this situation could, put simply, suck. i had made some of the closest friends i could imagine, and then i realized that i would be moving half a globe away from them. and then? in 4 more years? i would do it again. i decided then, in my absolution of youth and knowledge, that i would simply never open my heart to anyone and wouldn't make any friends.

only, that never works. because i am a big open-upper. BIG TIME. and also? i really like having friends. so i made a few. some of the best friends ever. we laughed, we cried, we did really awesome stuff. there was one in particular that helped me through some of the hardest stuff i had faced. and then we said goodbye. 

now when we moved, i had new resolve. now, i want to make as many friends as possible. only, we are going to a base that deploys a lot, with not a lot of spouses my age, and i had a new baby. 

enter my friend, t.

she has 3 boys, 2 in high school. her husband works with my husband. they did the baby thing. they are now on to the high school thing. but we keep running into them, and we keep having awesome conversations. so we start to hang out. and they are just like us. FUN! (i'm not delusional one bit. we are pretty awesomely fun people.) 

we go camping, we go geocaching, we go swimming, we do all sorts of fun, awesome stuff with this family. her husband deploys, and we hang out constantly. then joel deploys, and leaves me here with a brand new baby, and t is by my side the whole time. then our husbands come back and we do more fun stuff. then joel deploys and i have to move. the baby, 2 dogs, and a 3 bedroom apartment +a storage shed full of stuff. by myself. in 3 days. i ask t. because she is my closest friend. the one i trust the most. i hate asking for help. and she understands that. and she brings her boys and she comes over.

t, her 2 teenagers, and me. 3 days. it was amazing. and hard. but we did it. and then i had to go to florida to help my mom. and i left my house-boxes everywhere, lots of cleaning needing to be done, rooms to be painted. i worried for most of the time i was in florida, because there was SO much to do before joel got home. 

i decided to come back a day early. i knew i would need lots of time. and with a baby? i would need even more (plus maybe a small army.....) i got home late that night, maybe around midnight. i walked in my house and........


there were no boxes. there were no paint cans. there were things hanging on walls. the ugly wallpaper that plagued the dining room? gone. the room,  now painted perfectly, as i had imagined. my kitchen? painted, even down to the chalkboard for bella. pots and pans put away, towels folded and put away. bella's nursery? set up. everything

for a minute i just stood in my kitchen. crying big crocodile tears. i was tired, i was overwhelmed, and i had nothing to do but go to bed. my friend, t, had done. it. all. 

then there was this weird feeling that came over me. embarrassment? a little. i had never had a friend who did something so huge, so selfless, for me. i have had some amazing friends and they have done a lot for me, but this was on a whole different level. an extreme makeover, home edition level. i'm unworthy of that kind of friendship. i have done nothing to deserve that thoughtfulness. i was a good friend, sure. a good friend. not a great one. my attention was focused on my baby and my husband and my mom and my sister and my dad and.......not on my friend. in that moment, i was scared. i was afraid i would lose that wonderful friend. i could never repay her for the thing she had done. and now we were uneven. i felt like i would always owe her this huge favor that i could never repay.

a few weeks went by. we hung out a few times, and i started to realize that she didn't want me to repay her. she just wanted to be my friend. she. wanted. to. be. MY. friend. she didn't care if i never repaid the favor. 

{i don't usually get "religious" on here. but people?
 is that not the most amazing parallel to the gospel? 
God loves us, forgives us, and sacrifices His Son for us. 
and all he wants is us. nothing we can do. nothing we can give.} 

my friend has this uncanny ability to serve. that is her gift. what a weighty but precious gift it is, too. the ability to give of ones self without receiving anything in return. she is strong, willing and able. and she gives happily. it often leaves me speechless. 

and again, i am blessed to have made such an awesome friend. that i will move away from in one year. but it will not be goodbye. just as i have moved from other friends and not said goodbye. 

this post has been brought to you by mama kat's writers workshop where the prompt was, 
Write about a time a friend left you speechless.

Mama's Losin' It

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